r/startrek: The Next Generation
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Although it is also important to consider that for both Spock and Michael, they weren't full Vulcans, but were Human, or part-Human, with all the relevant emotional needs and expression.
It is not implausible that the Vulcan method works with Vulcans, but not nearly as well with non-Vulcans.
I don't know if it's correct to say that Vulcan culture is unaffectionate, just thay they don't express affection in the way you are used to. Remember: Spock was played the way he was in the 1960s to demonstrate the distance humans are willing to go to tolerate other cultures, no matter how (literally in this case) alien.
There's definitely a lot to unpack in suggesting that their culture deserves to "fail" because they do not assimilate (lol) into your culture.
At least if Sarek is any indicstor, they are definitely very restrained. He was quite distraught over not being as affectionate with Amanda as he could have been.
OP is referring to Vulcan culture. Sarek's displays of affection would probably not be considered "restrained" in a Vulcan-Vulcan relationship.
That sounds a very reactionary way to see Vulcan/Ni'Var on DIS.
Vulcan changed it wasn't destroyed. And it's implied that this change was what saved the outward facing outlook of their civilization - the romulan component of population becomes the more pro-federation side of Ni'Var.
There are some interesting things to explore there, since on one hand you have T'rina who acknowledges her emotions and moderates them with logic, and on the other there's Duvin who is clearly more conservative.
I don't know if there's an actual plan on the timeline of these cultural changes or if it's accidental but there's already some evidence of this cultural shift in Prodigy and Lower Decks with Maj'el and T'Lin. Even before that there's Saavik but at least non-canon novels assume she's half Romulan.
Ni'Var in Discovery does seem to be on that path, particularly with the Romulo-Vulcan faction.