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submitted 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) by QuillQuote@hexbear.net to c/neurodiverse@hexbear.net

Rejection Sensitivity is not a stranger to many or even most of us, and with a lot that has been going on with this site recently, including the user who was sitebanned shortly after a highly visible post about exactly this issue. Really really not a good look, and we want you all to know that we're aware of that. (just as a side note, that ban was made by the sitemods/admins not by us ND mods and I don't know much about it yet, but rest assured we're gonna check into it)

we absolutely understand the fear and apprehension many of you might be feeling. I personally have felt it too, and since that post a few days ago it's been constantly on my mind.

We want this community to be a place where ND comrades can come together to share in what brings them joy, support each other, and feel comfortable expressing themselves, and right now it's clear that we're not there yet.

So we are taking action to improve the atmosphere and culture to ensure that ND comrades don't need to fear being ousted from one mistake, bad take, or 'off' social interaction. We will do everything we can to keep that from happening in our community, and in pursuit of that here's a few important announcements/ ideas that we'd really like feedback on:

Important community stuff!!

First and most important: we want everyone here to feel safe and comfortable to post and participate in this community. I know there's been a bit of fear lately that even just one simple misunderstanding or 'off' social interaction will get you banned and slandered. We just wanted to make it crystal clear that Fakename and I will not let that be the case in this community. I understand very well how it feels for a social engagement to be going great and then suddenly its gone sour and it's your fault and you don't even know why everyone's upset, and then without being given a chance to even learn what the problem was or grow, are cast out. That won't fly here. You won't be cast aside for one or even multiple mistakes so long as it's clear you're doing your best to improve. Obviously, this isn't a blank check for people to be abusive or hateful and get away scot-free, this policy can extend only as far as good faith. If you have any concerns or questions feel free to ask in the comments or dm me!

Second, we've been getting suggestions that we should find ways to help users be able to spotlight their interests, as we've done here with this megathread, one other idea I had is to explicitly state that if you make a post about your interest and you want it spotlit, just @QuillQuote or @Fakename_Bill in a comment in the thread and we'll pin it!

My thought is that, if any of y'all are like me and could accidentally write an essay when I got going about what I'm passionate about, we could have a permanent rotating pinned thread that's essentially a 'daily' interest megathread, and it stays up until someone posts a new one (or 12 hours, or whatever feels right)

Lastly, I want to hear what you all would think of a more robust tagging system of posts, such as how [effort post] is commonly used, but maybe for stuff like [support] when you need to vent and want support, [venting] for when you need to vent but don't want anyone to engage with it, stuff like that. I think this would be helpful for a number of reasons, but mainly because it will normalize being able to directly ask for what you need. It's easy to imagine someone making a post to vent or complain about something but is not wanting or comfortable with people giving advice or pitching solutions. Another thing I think this would help is it would help remove some ambiguity and also set a tone, which I personally find very helpful. Importantly, I want to clarify I'm specifically not saying tag every post, if it's not properly tagged the post is getting removed. You don't have to tag your post that's a bit or a meme or a random thought you wanted to post, but simply to encourage people to use this system when they feel it's appropriate for them.

I think it's okay for someone to explicitly asked to be upvoted, or for support, or to feel comfortable saying "I stayed up all night making this" because you stayed up all night making something that, while it isn't anything special in the scheme of things, is something that you are proud of, and if you all agree I think we should work together to make that a reality in this community!

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[-] QuillQuote@hexbear.net 1 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago)

Saying again because it can't be said enough: neither Bill nor I know what we're doing, we're just trying our best, so please help us make this community something awesome cause we can't do that without you :Care-Comrade:

[-] ChapoBapo@hexbear.net 1 points 3 years ago

we’re just trying our best

:rat-salute:

this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2021
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neurodiverse

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What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

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