Yep.
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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"i just don't think this relationship is going to work. i need more small talk."
"...the fuck? ok, bye"
Honestly yes that's kind of what I do.
Need for small talk suggests the contents of your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk, I wish you the best in finding someone similar who can appreciate its value to your life. I'll be elsewhere and hope you wish me the same luck. Anything that is meaningfully impactful to my partner however, is never small talk.
I'm afraid you've missed the point. Smalltalk is about maintaining and strengthening relationship, which involves knowing about each others' lives and feelings. And it does double duty: taking the time to ask and listen is a way to express that the other person is important enough to you - i.e. to express love.
It's not the only way, and many of us don't do well at smalltalk, but it's a valuable way. And,
your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk
Indeed! It means your thoughts have time for the other person's life and feelings.
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Well do you?
- Nope.
- Why ?
- Because I said so. Go to your room and do your homework.
We gossip about our coworkers/classmates /people we know in common or talk about shared hobbies and upcoming plans together.
As someone who's not been in an real relationship this is my fear as well, even if I find someone how will I keep them engaged enough for a lifetime. I rarely even text the women I get digits from, I'm just very comfortable being alone and now it's getting problematic
But if you feel comfortable, why is it problematic?
There's more to life than just being comfortable, most things that are worthwhile require getting out of your comfort zone, and I think I've realized as I've grown older is that a relationship is worthwhile
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If I'm being manipulated from on-high by some otherworldy powerful, possibly eldritch abomination, then that's actually way more metal than just being some dude.
edit: I was supposed to criticise the relationship advice, got it... Yeah, I'm divorced.
Why the fuck does everyone want to be in sustained meaningful relationships?
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To a (modern) compatibilist, free will is the capacity to respond to the same stimulus with different reactions, i.e. it’s equivalent to the cybernetic concept of degrees of freedom. As such, answer:
“You can poke a ball-point pen and it’s going to do the same thing, over and over again: Extend and retract the lead. It is predictable because its internal complexity is below the threshold of chaos.” Then proceed to repeatedly poke them in the arm to see how many different reactions they have to that. Mentally prepare for a tickle fight.