What do they want? If that isn’t your priority then you are still making the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons.
Sounds like you want to be happy by using them as the means. Work on that first.
this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
12 points (75.0% liked)
Autism
8035 readers
396 users here now
A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
Community:
Values
- Acceptance
- Openness
- Understanding
- Equality
- Reciprocity
- Mutuality
- Love
Rules
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
- Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
- Do not post misinformation.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- Do not promote Autism Speaks.
- General Lemmy World rules.
Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
- Respectful venting.
- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions regarding autism.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our community's values.
- Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
- We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.
.
Helpful Resources
- Are you seeking education, support groups, and more? Take a look at our list of helpful resources.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I guess one part of it is how "big and important" it feels, so don't let that accidentally dominate or overextend the venture.
For example, ask to have a chance to talk things out without anything more planned or expected. Making things right can be optional past that. Making things work optional past that again.
What are the "mistakes you made"? Cheating?
It could be an autistic fixation, it could not be. If you want to try then go for it. Worst that can happen is you get rejected or breakup again.
I've realized that my connection issues with other people - feeling left out since a young age and never really being able to replicate the social dance very well - can lead to me becoming obsessed with people. When I finally find someone with whom I feel a close connection I will crush on them, heavily. And then I find that those who readily respond to my obsession tend to have connection issues themselves.
I'm just slowly waking up from a ten months obsession after I left a relationship of three years. I left for many good reasons but getting over him was the hardest work I ever did and on many days I felt I was ready to change the way the universe is put together just so I could be with him again. There was nothing going on in my brain for months, just keeping myself barely alive and thinking about this man and the relationship we had - everything else, skills, knowledge, ability to enjoy things, was gone. And then after much pondering, planning, and most importantly making sure my boundaries were where they needed to be I did return and had my heart broken again in several intricate ways. However returning was the right decision for me. The leaving, and the returning. I learned so much about myself. I watched my own obsession and sat with the grief, and the older grief behind it, and now I feel a little wiser.
You might return, it might not work, or he might say no - and then you get to learn a little more about your obsession and about yourself. It will hurt, you will have to cradle yourself through the heartbreak, but you get clarity about something you now might be missing. Just remember it's your obsession, not necessarily his obsession and you should be accepting of whatever outcome your attempt of re-connection brings. When connection is difficult it's no shame to go out there and experiment, that's how we get better at it and find out about our needs!