Dad for a Minute

• It's always uncomfortable, even father to son
• It's going to be more than one conversation. The first one should be about establishing that there are people he can trust and talk to privately and in confidence.
• Those people are not necessarily parents, for many reasons.
• Start by getting him to think about who he would want to confide in and help him with the awkwardness of setting up those relationships.

Good morning!

It's hard to say, because I don't know you or your son, and I don't know the kind of dynamic you have - so if anything I say about "style" doesn't seem right for you, just let it go by. You know best.

I think that, generally speaking, you want to approach it like it's perfectly normal. (Protip: it is.) I know that schools will have a far-too-brief instruction on these things around this age. You can start with that, asking whether they've had that in school yet, if they haven't, when it will be. Set a very casual tone, that'll let him know that you're not afraid of the topic, and how you will approach it when you get into the details with him. Gauge whether he wants to talk about it right then or needs to wait. If he needs to wait, "Okay, well, you and I are going to have "the talk" (make it a joke) at some point, doesn't have to be right now, I just wanted to open the door."

Okay, so when you have "the talk" -- still keep it casual. Put it in terms of "I'm going to say a bunch of things, and you may know some or all of them. But I have to know you know, so it just needs to be said out loud." It might be helpful to point out that every single young man in history has had to deal with these things, at this same young age, and that he deserves guidance.

Now for the details. You mentioned shaving. He does not need to shave. At this age, he shouldn't shave. If things get annoying, the most he should do is use some safety hair scissors to trim a little shorter. Pubic hair prevents chafing, front and back. And when it grows back after shaving, it can be horribly scratchy. With regard to hygiene, make sure to include "wash your ass." Like, get soap on your hands and get everything, seriously. You're going to want to talk about erections, especially how they'll just show up for literally no reason at the most inconvenient times. He might have to "adjust," and he'll have to figure out how to do so discreetly for when he's not able to find a bit of privacy.

On other notes, he's going to find it harder and harder to wake up in the morning, and want to stay up really late at night. That's normal, and he'll want to figure out a process that works for him to get out of bed in the morning and get moving for the day. A little caffeine in the morning will help wash away the tired. And don't have caffeine after dinner.

However your conversations go, it'll be fine. The fact that you're being mindful about it means that it can't go wrong. I would actually advise against having him talk only to someone else. You're the parent, and you need to know what he knows. The only way for that to happen is for you and him to talk.

If you don't feel comfortable enough, leaving a handwritten note explaining some of the things might suffice. As a man, I can say that the worst part of being a teenage boy is that once you discover masturbation, you'll be doing it a lot. Suddenly you're thinking about sex so much, and getting frustrated that you're not having any sex, etc. It really sucks. Other than that, boys' body changes don't feel special or different or anything. Extra hair grows here and there, voice might finally sound masculine, and that's about it.

Some things he should know, from someone who experienced it first hand:

• Shaving pubes is not necessary. No need to bother with it until you start getting frisky with another person - and they might not even care whether there's a bush there or not.
• Try to pull the skin down as much as comfortably possible when masturbating. This is important for having sex in the future
• Clean up the head with water and soap, then dry it before putting it back inside the clothes. It's also a good thing to use toilet paper to dry up after taking a piss.
• Water + semen = glue. You need lots of soap if you don't dry clean it first.
• Keep some toilet paper, towelettes or an old piece of cloth nearby for the cleanup. Wash the cloth at least once a week.
• Install uBlock Origin. He'll be browsing porn sites whether you like it or not, better have some protection against the nastier ads, which tends to be really invasive.
• Masturbation feels good, but don't overdo it, unless he wants to have erection problems when he finally has sex.
• Adding to the above, it needs to be driven into his skull to NOT expect anything he sees in porn to be realistic. Positions, dirty talk, all of that is for entertainment, not a how-to.
• Keep an eye on your credit card, OP, or you might suddenly see a surprise charge for something very unexpected

It will be uncomfortable anyway, I've been in similar situation from the other side. Just state it plainly, I think the best way to go about it is casual, maybe ask if he would like to talk about it with male relative instead (if there is such option).