Thursday I am supposed to go to the hospital to get my insides echo'ed. The goal is to figure out what is causing my chronic fatigue. I have an inkling about what it is. I feel like I should really not drink until then.
My days are okay to fill if I'm busy with work. Once the clock hits 5, I want to get to cooking as soon as possible, I really can't handle being idle. I take a drink or two, I'm all right.
But the issue is I can no longer drink socially. It seems I only want to drink at home, alone, the sad way.
To pass the boredom moments I watch TV. I'm currently watching Shameless and it shows some people really having issues with substance abuse. I'm not saying it's a trigger for me, but when I see one of them downing hard liquor I kinda get a feeling it'd be nice to get a quick buzz going like that. And then that makes me feel bad.
I actually stopped drinking a while, just to see if I could without trouble. I managed for well over two months. Perhaps I should start the year dry.
Anyone recognize that feeling of boredom and the urge to numb it with a drink?