I can relate on a few accounts, I have no direct solutions but a few decades of going through some of it.
For one, I am really restrictive with my data. As such I never used much social media or any* meta service. Of course this excludes me from things.
Here in Germany though I went without WhatsApp (*being the current exclusion) a year but had to reinstall, since it's just used not only by "everyone" here but also by official contacts which is more critical.
I hate it but I can not save the world, so this is a compromise of being able to live here.
What your compromise you have at your location I can not say, but don't be too hard on yourself. You do not have to be perfect. Not everything has to be perfectly in line with your convictions.
In regards to neurodivergency, I struggle with the latter especially and tend to cut a sharp line in regards to this in comparison to neurotypicals. But we don't have to do this - for one, nobody cares. On the other hand, I think NDs are far more structured with this, so cutting a few corners is still more aligned with conviction than NTs.
I can not say where your feeling comes from, but at least a part of the isolation is from being ND. That's just the way it is, being 1% vs 99%. But you will find people. Mostly not anyone that understands everything about you. But enough and care.
The world is big. As you're likely to be located in the US consider first a trip, later maybe moving to a location more accommodating your needs. Just because they're not met locally doesn't mean they're not valid needs. And they're okay.
All of this isn't easy, but you can find your way.