Inflatable dartboard
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2025
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AI powered misteltoe
Bluetooth enabled socks
I mentioned this in a joke elsewhere, but micro incarceration as a service, cutting you up like a star trek teleporter and keeping you imprisoned on a cellular level in the cells of gig workers.
5000$ toilet that reverses if your internet connection goes down or you stop paying. Spies on your poop. Badly. Forwards everything to palantir.
A water filter that poisons you in historically accurate ways so you can better understand the past.
Interior design products (beds, tables, chairs) based on anti-homeless hostile architecture
Underclothing that costs 5000$, spies on you, can't be properly washed, and malfunctions horribly in ways that might kill you if your network drops too many packets.
A smart fridge that 'stops food waste' by detecting spoiled items and locking them away in a vault sectionv-with air circulation, of course.
"AI" powered smart menstrual products sold to institutions that track hormone levels and guess when you need to be isolated for pregnancy. There is a single woman in the entire company and she has an MBA.
An ai powered silencing mask that captures everything you say and rephrases it like it was said in another 'better' vernacular or language you would prefer-chosen of course by the machine.
An ai based service you can send after people to make friends with them online and confirm all their worst biases and psychoses until they go completely mad and lose all connection with reality and start doing incredibly dangerous things. A kind of not-quite-assassination, but legal!
A service that deepfakes revenge porn of you until people get sick of it and your image is blocked by every single spam filter.
Impressive list. These are like things you say to a tech bro to make them horny.
An app that sends you an alert every minute you are on your phone and tells you the total yearly minutes wasted in every alert
A toaster that has a camera to see how toasted/burnt the bread is getting and screams louder and more desperately the darker the bread gets.
An AI flower vase that insults you based on how often and which type of flowers put in it.
AI light up earrings that turn on when you lie.
The ear-rings already exist(ed) as a ring. They are of course wrong 90% of the time. I forget the product name.