It's not our fault French was made wrong.
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2026
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One of my multilingual friends called English the mixed playdoh version of French and German.
I hate it honestly. The french spent centuries ruling England and messing up our language just for the rest of the world to make fun of us for it as if it's our fault.
"Wah, I'm the British, and I'm upset about being colonized" that's what you sound like
I'm american but the romans and french taught them how to do it.
And if anyone calls me british ever again there will be consequences
Oh no, an american threatening consequences. What are you going to do, impose tariffs?
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Nice try, but if you were really american, you'd spell it conzequences.
It's spelt colonised
Nice try Mr. Italiano.
Domo rigatoni, Mr Roboto
Don't forget the ancient Latin that a bunch of scholars pulled in during the 1600s because the French descendants weren't fancy enough.
It is at least 3 languages in a trenchcoat.
Hahaha, that's pretty good!
One time in high school, I dissociated so hard that I temporarily couldn't understand spoken English. Tbf, I did it intentionally just to see if I could (as nerds do when they're bored in gym class.) It was very interesting. English sounded like a softer German with French pronunciations, which tracks. I thought it sounded pleasant. I still want to know what non-Native English speakers think, but it was fun to listen to English "from the outside" for a few minutes.
If you're curious,
I was on the loud, busy bleachers with many other people. I decided to concentrate on the sounds I heard, and only on the sounds, without attempting to understand anything that was said. At some point it's like my comprehension disengaged and I was in a sea of meaningless chatter. It should be noted that I am neurodivergent, so perhaps it was easier for me to concentrate on pure sensory information? Who knows. I sure don't.
If anybody else has had this experience, I'm curious what it was like for you, too.
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it is your fault (collective, not individual) you didnโt change the spelling
rendez-vousโs pronounciation is perfectly regular in french
Rawndayvoo.
Quick! Delete this before the Trump admin declares that the existence of loanwords is a war on the American Languageยฎ
I would love to see how this shook out when the British start getting possessive about their language in petty retribution. US adopts "hick hoodrat" as its first language?
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Careful, Col. Hans Landa might notice the accent.
Randy foos
[English teachers, frantically trying to squeeze another seven exceptions to the exception to the exception to a pronunciation rule into a simple mnemonic rhyme] Yeah, you tell'em!
I thought monolingual meant someone who only licks one other person, as opposed to polylingual where someone licks multiple other people
Don't even get me started on Colonel.
I always thought colonel would be pronounced colonel, but it's colonel instead!
Anyone who makes fun of eastern Asian languages for not differentiating between L and R has never compared romance languages.
Which romance languages, at that! They're all different! Haha
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I love seeing English only speakers make fun of German and French, while technically English is German and French's inbread son.
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fuck all french origin words in english
they all behave counter to the rest of english logic
What logic?
You know, the logic that has a word like "knight" where half of the letters are silent.
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Poor monolinguals
I'm choosing to take this as a really clever etymology joke
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It'd be spelled ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐๐ฑ๐๐ต in Shavian script English, is that better?
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I know all about etymology and language evolution.
I still think it's stupid to write "EAU" to say "O".
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