I ended up not writing cohesively what the title intended to convey, i went full emotional and i apologize. Perhaps just venting out my frustrations instead of rationalozeing everything and methodically writing about it was the better choice. Doing the latter forces me to follow structure and convey half truths.
this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2026
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Although, i am indeed experiencing day by day what i wrote in the title and it brings me great discomfort as one can imagine.
Maybe try free writing in a notebook. If you find yourself spiralling or obsessing, stop, do something else to get your mind off it. Then come back and see if you can reframe any of it, for example: what if abc goes wrong? --> what if abc goes right? What if a goes right and bc doesn't?
What can I say, it sounds rough. I hope it gets better soon, but the only thing that really helps me is my maybe stupid believe that there will be good days.
"The darkest hour is just before the dawn"
Eating raw fruit and veg can help a lot with the anhedonia and moods: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00487/full