cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/44261915
EggI Agents
this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2026
581 points (98.7% liked)
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probably waste money to use ink to print ads on the eggs.
Brought to you by: 
Enchickification
fun fact: chickens usually give 1 egg a month, but due to severe selective breeding, they give 1-2 a DAY. Ugh.
Nah, they bred them to lay more eggs. They are more than desirable. They WANTED this. More eggs = more money. Who cares about nutrition. LINE MUST GO UP
I find it kinda hard to understand how they are able to process nutrients into an egg so fast. and am inclined to believe that the nutrient composition would be very different, with the quick-layers being much less desirable.
This comic shouldn't be about the chickens, it's the farmers who are doing the exploitation.
Sell the yolks separately.
"They're a business and they need to make money." - Average Dipshit
Eggs watch you and record all of your conversations
I’m just gonna mute those egg ads, the sizzle for crispy fried eggs no more for me
Took me a minute to decipher through the minimal pixels but once I got it, made me giggle
Enchickenshitification
What free eggs lol Humans literally pay for their entire existence already.
Pretty much a subscription model.
The domesticated species do seem to be able to survive in the wild though.
Eggland's Best already stamps their logo on the eggs they sell. I consider that advertising on the eggs.
- NFTs of specific eggs
- egg crypto currency
- mandatory AI driven (needs an account) app to use the egg
- lower the production to control the price
- lobby the gov to mandate that everyone needs to consume an egg a day & be able to prove it (or jail time)
- use personal data to determine the optimal price per eg for each customer
- egg loot boxes
Egg lootboxes already exist, they're called kinder surprise
Poor old USA never got Kinder surprise, the FDA stopped them from ever being sold there since a plastic shell in chocolate are "non-nutritive items implanted in food" that makes them "not suitable for sale"
FDA is run by big microplastic, not smol macroplastic.
I think what you're saying might be 100% correct. Just add a tablespoon of big oil and a cup of big pharma.
Plenty of calories in plastic
I'm vegan so I don't eat plastic
literally put shit on egg -- enshitification
Tell me you’ve never had to get eggs out of a nest, without telling me. Shit everywhere. They’re birds. So much shit.
Eggshitification
Micro transaction: Get the yolk for free but the white costs .99
Want your eggs unfertilized? That'll be $0.99 each
Won't fertilised be more expensive since that would mean one could potentially make second generation produce?
Not really. I was thinking do you want your eggs to be guaranteed not to have blood spots or accidentally give you baluut? Pay extra.
Also, some weird people get very strange about eating fertilized eggs, like they're full of rooster jizz. Which is stupid. It's a chicken, eat it now or eat it later, you're still eating a chicken.
like their full of rooster jizz
Hehe, all animals embryos are made of animal jizz.
Still better than stuff made out of the intestines which might have some remnant faecal matter if not cleaned properly.
I thought it would be something about eating a future-chicken vs eating an egg that would otherwise just rot away or be eaten by the chicken that laid it.
Right? People are just so weird sometimes
Dude ... Shut the fuck up. Big egg gonna have a meeting
Enchickification
Technically chickens lay eggs and shit using the same external opening (cloacal opening), so it's just a matter of controling shit-to-egg ratio. It was designed to carry out enshittification once they seize the global market. /s
Chicken Run 2.0
Fewer eggs laid per week, but charge the same for them.
Technically not free. They get free food, housing, and medical care. For some thats probably better than what they got now.
and then getting slaughtered at the end of the growing season, or if BIRD FLU hits, they all get wiped out at once.
You mean suffer horribly in tiny cages and forced to pump out eggs at an unnatural rate and then slaughtered when they are deemed "spent".
And cage-free is a minority of the world egg production. And even cage-free has issues with quality of life.
Not to mention the billions of male chicks that are ground alive the day they hatch because they are useless.
also some companies are very "tricky" in thier marketing, cage free doesnt mean range or pasture raised. it means they are still in large overcrowded barns, with potentially disease or dead chickens, its also call range free." tyson farms or foster farms is what your thinking cages stack upon cages of sickly chickens.
you are looking for pasture, or garden raised(the latter more bougie cost") or regenerative farming.
Pasture raised all day babyyyyy
Tbh even pasture raised isn't perfect but it's the only way I let myself engage with the egg industry
garden raised, or regenerative but these are more expensive eggs.
They get free food, housing, and medical care
To the same level that people imprisoned in Auschwitz did, yeah
and they are slaughtered when they're no longer useful.
oh, you already said auschwitz.