None of what you described above is normal behavior for anyone. If you feel you are making a valid complaint specific to neurotypicals could you provide a more specific example of what you are trying to describe?
this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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For instance, I was screamed at “Asperger’s Syndrome doesn’t excuse you! 😏 I don’t NEED to apologize! You were being selfish and immoral! And I expect JUST YOU to be perfect and no one else!” (I told him to STOP several times) EVERYONE said, “That’s NOT discrimination! That’s free speech, is it mean? Yes, did he yell it at you quite a few times? Yes, but it’s NOT discrimination!”
So I got BACK at him and screamed “You’re a f******! You were being selfish and immoral! 😏 I don’t NEED to apologize! I expect YOU to be perfect!” EVERYONE was in shock 😮 and said, “That’s discrimination!” I said, “No it isn’t, how do I know he’s (you know what).”
apologies if i interpret your story incorrectly. if your words were not what i guessed, then i have no argument against you and please have a nice rest of the day.
when someone uses the F word (the slur, not "fucker"), they invalidate all their own arguments.
you can cling to some private meaning for that word in your own mind, if you really must, but it will never convince others that yours is more correct. in their mind, it tells them that you don't accept them as even the minimum level of humans. would you not claim discrimination if they told you that you're not human?
maybe it's difficult to accept, but as Sheldon would say, this is a non-negotiable social convention.
You are correct and I get where you’re coming from, I don’t normally use that slur, it was used on him because he screamed and yelled at me “Asperger’s Syndrome doesn’t excuse you!” At the top of his 🫁 lungs (see above it happened repeatedly), so I used that slur on him to paint him a picture of how offensive his remarks were.
i get that this can happen during overwhelmed moments. i have always found that when i cross that kind of line, the consequences last much longer than my overwhelm.
i hope you find an environment where that extreme interaction never feels nor becomes necessary.
Thanks brother
Outbursts never help (though I admit, I've been guilty of outbursts at times, but they never help). Try just letting it be water off your back, and maybe ask if there's someone more polite around that might be willing to help with whatever frustration you're having.
Its taken me many years to get over my insecurities and lack of confidence, though they're still there to a lesser extent. But if you reveal your cards publicly, that you're on the spectrum (apparently I am too), well some assholes just get that power trip and wanna lash back out at you.
Don't engage with assholes, just walk away, while telling them something like 'Well you have a good day too', works especially well when there are other actually decent people around as witnesses.
Problem is, MANY Neurotypicals have said that to me, yet THEY lash out at us and say it’s justified. The legal system DID prove he WAS within the law cause they said it happened CONTINUOUSLY and he KNEW not to do it. They found him in the wrong, not me because I ended up lashing at him in anger 😡 for that. Even though Police 👮♀️ were on his side, court was on mine because they said he did it REPEATEDLY and wouldn’t leave me alone.
I feel for you, I really do. Still, whatever the situation, at least try to be the better person, especially in the presence of witnesses.
Back in February 2011, a retired police officer, in broad daylight, accused me of making crystal meth, because my dad decided to burn an old matress in his bonfire pile and the smoke smelled stinky. He accused me in broad daylight, while I reassured him that his accusations were outright wrong.
Granted, daddy shouldn't have been burning furniture, but that's besides the point. The retired officer threatened to blow my brains out, with a good friend of mine and my dad's standing and watching as a witness to all this shit.
I simply walked away, walking back home, while the retired cop (rather large build even), walked after me and tried to grab my shoulder. I just shrugged him off and kept walking. Yes, yes I was a little scared that maybe he had a gun in his pocket and might actually carry through with his threat, but I just kept walking home, shortly down the street.
Later that evening, I drove my car to a friend's house the next block over, and passed in front of his house, where I saw the deranged ex cop talking with my ex girlfriend, who was talking with him and vouching for us, confirming his accusations were wrong. I stopped my car beside them and told him "Paint my life however you like", and then just drove on to my friend's place.
Over the next two weeks, I was scared shitless of him, and made a point to drive around the other side of the block to avoid passing in front of his house. I spent those two weeks starting to write an experimental programming project I had been thinking about for a couple years already, in freezing cold weather, "Color Painter". I continued that project through 2017.
As time went on and I had a chance to talk with other neighbors, and even active detectives, they all told me that's exactly why he was kicked off the police force, cuz he was fucking nuts!
I never spoke a single word to that man again, my dad went and basically politely told him to fuck off, and that's about the timeframe in my life where I learned confidence and it's best to be the better man.
Like, what if I would have popped my mouth off or tried to run away instead of walk? I dunno if he had a gun in pocket or not, but that might have been the thing to trigger him to shoot.
So I was the better man out of it, I didn't act a fool and I consealed my absolute fear, in confidence that if the psycho cop actually did shoot me, that there were witnesses and he would have been thrown under the jail.
Anyways, take care of yourself friend, and don't let words get to you, there's so much worse that could happen...
Thank you friend, and I did try to be the bigger person, the problem was he wouldn’t stop.
definitely some cycle of abuse bullshit but i was often expected to "just know" or understand things the first time and now of course i've become the bitch who expects people to just know or understand things the first time because of the social chameleon-ism becoming more like social conditioning.
there's a studied phenomenon of expertise - as your understanding of a subject becomes deeper, you forget what it's like to be a beginner. this is a normal behavior that you just need to be aware of, and be mindful that everyone was a newbie once. even you.
explicit communication is inclusive communication. if you want newbies to become people who "just know", somebody's gotta teach them what they need to know. make that somebody be you.
yeah i'm trying to be more of a "you're one of today's lucky 10,000" kind of person
it just doesn't help that the behaviour was (not literally!) beaten into my head growing up for not understanding "basic" things as a literal child
I did get the lesson literally beat into me more than once. Small blessing it was never the head. I definitely understand the struggle to overcome those impulses. :)
True, same here
I'm annoyed that NT try to "help", but all they say is basically "don't be autistic" / "don't act your ADHS"
True
Whenever I have to explain something complicated to a "normal" person, 90% of them won't listen from start to finish and will almost always respond to things I never said
REAL. This happened to me today in a meeting at work, and I don't get it.
Me: "The process we're following doesn't work for me because it is prone to so much contention getting to a definition. It's very frustrating."
Them: "Im surprised you would say that. We're (consultant) not here to make things difficult, we're here to help you."
Me: "I did not say you intend to make this difficult. I said this process, the manner in which we are conducting this review, does not work for me and is the cause of the frustration"
Them: "So you're saying everything we've been doing is wrong"
Me: "I gotta leave this call for a bit. Please excuse me."
I swear, it's like I'm speaking a foreign language to some people
What annoys me is that, if I show up to a large crowd, especially such as a church where people are expected to communicate and get to know each other, that they expect me to remember everyone I spoke with that day.
I'm not good with associating many names with many faces all in one day. I tend to take my time getting to know just a few people at a time, across multiple days, before I can actually remember who is who and what their names, backgrounds, and family history and such are.
Sorry, I don't exactly have the best facial recognition memory, especially in a crowd of lots of people all at once.
No one expects you to remember all the names of people you just met, especially in a crowd.
"Hey, I think we met?" is perfectly fine.
True, but my facial recognition memory is apparently worse than average. I've been known to not be able to recognize otherwise known coworkers of a small company outside of the workplace out of uniform..
It can be rather embarrassing at times ☹️
I get you. The worst case that has happened for me was walking past my own wife and not recognizing her just because i wasn't expecting her to be at that location.
Though it has a positive side as well. I've become decent at improvising social interactions.
'Face blindness' is a thing. I've been at plenty of big events and heard two people say something like 'it was a pleasure meeting you, I'm sure I'll forget your name in a second,' then they both laugh.
Back in ancient Greece and Roman times a important man would have a slave whose only job was to follow him around in public and remind the master who was who. Nomenclator was the job title.
Agreed