Groomer: "How can I help you?"
Mobster: "I need you to make me look like a good boy."
this post was submitted on 15 May 2026
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Cue Title Card:
The Goodfella
Last night I had a dream I perfected a magic trick
I’d dress like a vampire, then at the end of a movie when everyone goes outside and it’s too bright I’d start hissing and screaming, then smoke would come off me and I’d collapse and disappear.
I don’t know how to do magic though, so I have no hope of accomplishing this ~~trick~~ illusion and I submit it to the community.
Mobster comes out with a nice poodle cut.