Killing is easy, it's an instant decision but crossing borders can take a lifetime, and in most cases people never reach ashore/across.
this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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men in particular say this all the time, too
"i would kill for my wife" would you do the dishes for your wife? the laundry?
it’s easy to talk about sacrifices you’re never going to have to do, especially when they make you sound so badass
but actually doing stuff to improve people’s lives around you is much harder than just talking
"I would die for my wife"
How about living for them instead? Dedicate your life to them while it's still valuable.
Too much work, dying is one and done. Easy, really.
Something something no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, he won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Dying literally is doing nothing.
For years my wife and I have talked about who would outlive the other and we both constantly say the other will (it's pretty damn sad to think about going on without each other). Very recently I changed my thought process and would prefer to live longer, if only to spare her the pain of going through that feeling of loss.
Hell, how many would choose not to kill for their wife? Say someone sexually assaults her and she doesn't want her husband to kill the perpetrator. Because, I've been in a similar position (no opportunity to actually enact the violence though) and I suspect a lot of these men wouldn't. They aren't wanting to kill for their wives, they're wanting to kill to maintain their sense of safety and self image as a protector.
In such a scenario, the will of the victim is paramount. As much as my rage that my wife had been harmed would motivate me to go full Punisher, her desire to not lose my to a prison cell or the grave would make her tell me to allow the justice system to work. I would follow her wishes but anything I could do that wouldn't taint the evidence needed to convict I would do.
I do.
In fact I do most of the chores in my house because my wife's hobby requires frequent absences.
In my opinion "I would cross border for better life for my children" is looked down because it lacks "patriotism" or whatever the call pointless nationalism nowadays. Personally if my country was in any danger of being invaded, you can find me and my family at the border faster than media can send their crew there to film it. And I say it while my country borders Russia.
Absolutely, I think humans want the honor of spectacle and not the labor of the mundane
Violence is fetishised in the US
Too many losers think action movies are documentaries
Especially in an age of spectacle and shallowness.
You're really trying to oversimplify it to make a point. Are we assuming they're both working full time jobs and such? Then sure, yeah. Is it agreed she's "stay at hom"? Then yeah, she needs to do the shit, the same as a man would if he was "stay at home"
Maybe it's a culture thing, but myself and my friends/family don't use the "it's your problem" mentality. Then again we aren't pieces of shit so who knows.
Also, it's always "I would kill for my child", not "I would take a job at a health insurance company, denying the claims of people who need health care to live for my child". Always the big dramatic moment, not the mundane daily dreary murder by increments using statistics.
Fr. Indirect violence is so normalized nowadays.
Taking a job at an evil company for your children is not remarkable. It's Tuesday.
They just like the thought of killing
My parents tell me they love me unconditionally, but only if I fit their expectations, which I do not.
I'm with you on that one. I'm still grappling with attempting to be their good son but also trying to accept myself for who I am right now.
Good luck, my Fedifriend. Take things one step at a time. You aren't alone.
There is this saying that is misinterpreted.
blood runs thicker than water
People saying this mean to say that family bonds are more important than friendships.
But it's incomplete. The full expression:
blood runs thicker than water from the womb
Meaning blood bonds, friendships, are stronger than family connections, the water from the womb.
I have a brother who votes for a conspiracy right wing party. My mother keeps spreading racist slurs and follows right wing populists and media. My father is more like me, but is afraid to get into conflict so he always takes my mother's side.
I told them, after countless chances, I'm done with them. I broke off all contact, with a long explanation without convictions, attacks, blaming or what so ever. Just explaining I feel hurt by how I feel treated and I feel helpless as any form of conversation ends in full scale attacks onto me, blaming me for everything, calling me a child in its puberty (I'm 39) who never takes responsibility (while I always take full responsibility for my actions, while they have never done so).
I'm happy with my group of honest and deep friendships. I don't need my family. They wrote me out of their will. I don't care. I don't need anything from them anymore. I'm surrounded by amazing and loving people, while they are going to die sad and alone.
People saying this mean to say that family bonds are more important than friendships.
That is how this phrase has been interpreted since the 12th century.
But it’s incomplete. The full expression:
blood runs thicker than water from the womb
This version comes from "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". A couple of writers in the late 20th - early 21st century made the claim that this was the original phrasing; however, they did not cite any sources to back up this claim. See details in the Wikipedia entry.
Ok sure, but it doesn't change my point. I can also understand that in certain cultures and in history your family is all you have. But in these days they are just people you cannot chose, just like colleagues. Friends however, are people you meet and connect with because you are similar. These bonds are much stronger than someone that shares some DNA with you. Doesn't mean you can't have strong bonds with family too, but it's not a given they are always the strongest connections you have. In my case, and in the case of some of my friends, family members are just a disappointment while my friends and I have unconditional love for eachother and are even there through the hardest times. While my parents just concern themselves for me just not dressing the way they like and not having the career and education they wanted me to have, therefore judging me and pushing me away. Especially in times I need support instead of judgement and resentment.
Sure, I've heard that referred to as your "logical family" (as opposed to your "biological family" ). I have estranged family members, too.
What's interesting is HC Trumbull's contrast with the Arabic concept of blood being thicker than milk (from the Wikipedia entry) which seems to be closer to your meaning. I'm not sure if this is referring to people who have fought together or if it's some kind of "blood brother" ritual, though. Unfortunately, in English the word "blood" is used as a metaphor for family.
In my case, and in the case of some of my friends, family members are just a disappointment while my friends and I have unconditional love for eachother and are even there through the hardest times.
I'm glad that you've found friends like this. I don't understand the appeal of unconditional love, though. I expect that if I turned into a horrible person, my friends' love for me would go away, and I wouldn't think any less of them for that.
It seems like your love for your family is conditional upon them not being assholes. I think that's completely reasonable and appropriate, but why have unconditional love for your friends but not your family? If your friends started treating you the same way your estranged family members have, wouldn't your love for your friends also cease?
Maybe I'm missing something important about love here. This seems likely, because a lot of people hold the value of unconditional love in high regard and act as though its goodness is so obvious that it doesn't need to be explained. Perhaps you could tell me how I'm wrong here.
but why have unconditional love for your friends but not your family?
Years and years of mental abuse makes the love for your family go away.
My friends are not like that. I know them deeply.
You avoided my bigger question.
Love should be conditional. It should be reciprocated.
Years and years of mental abuse makes the love for your family go away.
Right. Because your love was conditional. Which is a good thing. You loved them; they abused you; you quit loving them.
What am I missing here?