I'm 24 and I recently got kicked out, me and my roommates spoke and they want me out by the august. I first wanted to stat with how we got here, around 2 years I would move in my roommate K and her wife Z, things were overall going well but it became clear I was neglected as a kid, and chores were not my strong suite. I could do them but not very well. eventually K got another partner F and between the three it became rarer and rarer for people to depend on me for chores. I felt bad but admittedly did not whole a lot to handle it. K would start to get really upset with me and It spawned fears I would get kicked out to the point where I would have long periods of depression, eventually we would move to Nola, and things only got worse from there, I told K I wanted to as go to therapy but K said she did not believe I was going to get better and that I am focusing way to much on clinician diagnosis and I could of just googled autism hacks or adhd chore hacks and that I was being terrible cause I wanted to be terrible, I overall got a point where I would constantly self deprecate as K would really only be mean to me and we would fight non stop every single day, I was never invited to do anything, and my life sucked. I got the the point where I started to dissociate and it got to a point where I could not function at work, my depression was severe and I would mostly sleep during the day, I finally did get into therapy and on some good meds but it was too late, one week ago I was informed due to my actions I am getting kicked out, while I was offered a couch in Shreveport to sleep on, and maybe a roommate situation I was still very upset. I am at the point where I feel like I lost everything that matters to me, I did not want to go back to Shreveport and I feel absolutely devastated. I applied for jobs in Seattle, and Denver but I have not even gotten a call for interview yet, and I honestly lost hope. I just don't know, how does one rebuild from nothing, like I dont have a job, friends, family really anything. I have a car that everything I own fits into thats it. What do I do now??
This might sound harsh, but I say it with as much love and support as possible from a stranger on Lemmy.
You need to get your head out of your ass. A quick fly-over of your post/comment history show a self-absorded, self-victimizing egoistic child. You do not take responsibility for your mistakes, and instead blame your neuro-divergence, and/or gender identity troubles for your shortcomings.
In my experience, people who have absolutely no one are directly responsible for their situation and have been pushing people away for years. Depression will do that to some. I'll tell you a secret tho... The people who love you will always find a way to forgive when faced with someone who truly wants to be forgiven. Love and close relationships are hard work and demand humility, and vulnerability.
Trying to blame your neglectful childhood for being an inconsiderate roommate is just childish. Just get the fuck up, and respect the fact that you are living with other people. No therapist is going to magically turn you into a decent cohabitant.
Therapy isn't going to help you if you constantly lie to yourself. Meds without good therapy is only going to delay, slow the mental decay, but will not solve it. There is so much that should be done by you before spending thousands of dollars.
You have a car, and some money. You have access to mental health care. You are already doing better than hundreds of millions of people!
You might have lost a roof, but the situation you were in sounds very unhealthy. What was so important about it?
I think you need to ask yourself what is it you truly want. Then you will be able to start thinking about what you can actually do in order to get there.
Edit: Please, understand that this is coming from a place of love, and that I am not aware of your whole situation. I just saw that you are also physically limited, and so might have been a bit too harsh. If you would like to talk, please DM me !