Im adrift in a sea of confusion, has anyone experienced this (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by gregheffley@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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To preface this, I believe I’m white facing, but I honestly have no idea to parse this. To preface this, I’m American. On my mom’s side of the family, my great grandfather was Chinese and my great grandmother was the children of people who were slaves. This is the extend of my geneologic knowledge.

I essentially have no knowledge of my family. As a result, when I tell people that my family is from China or from slave lineage, I got called slurs as a child, even as a white person. I constantly had to balance my privileged existence as a white-existing person with the reality of a predominantly large portion of my family. Im not trying to propose any unique “multiracial” experience that exists outside of the bounds of race. I’m just simply asking if anyone has experienced the same? Im sorry if this is wreckerjacketed unintentionally, it’s just something I cannot talk about with libs. I ask this somewhat assuredly, knowing that someone has experienced this

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[-] Othello@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

slave lineage

im curious what do you mean by slave lineage? like slavic?

[-] Othello@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

also i dont think youre wreckerjacketing for what its worth.

[-] gregheffley@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

Thank you for your understanding

[-] Othello@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

yeah of course, i get it. I had a post on here not too long ago about how my Italian heritage was invalidated because im black, its weird, its shitty. also i have a tiny bit of native American ancestry, i have a great aunt who is in a tribe and goes to the reservation and everything. ive always felt wierd about it like it would be cool to learn more, but how much am i "allowed" to embrace? how do i avoid being an Elizabeth warren? also one thing i need to tell you. dont simply refer to your ancestors as slaves, they were so much more than that, they were fighters, survivors, dont reduce them like that, honor them.

[-] gregheffley@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

Thank you for the kind words! Yeah, I have a similar situation and feeling with Native American identity. My maternal grandmother and family is very much tied to it, way more than I am! You’re also absolutely correct that I shouldn’t refer to my ancestors as slaves. You’ve actually inspired me to find out more about them to honor them!

[-] Othello@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

You’ve actually inspired me to find out more about them to honor them!

Im so glad!! i hope it can be really good for your feelings of disconnection!

[-] gregheffley@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

My great grandmother was black. Both of her parents were slaves.

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Passing complexion is a hell of a thing.

If I get a lot of Sun in the summer white people noticably treat me differently, but I am otherwise white coded. I dunno how to feel about it?

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

I knew someone who was Italian up and down, but when she tanned in summer she was subjected to racial abuse by people who thought she was Mexican. Racism is weird.

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

I sometimes talk about how I partly excised my Japanese heritage (working class) because of racist bullying at school (Australia in the 90s) in favour of the my British heritage (aristo-bourgeois-slave-owner). Not white passing except maybe on the phone or through text. I don't think it worked at all, but I also don't blame my 6 year old self for making that decision. Japan obviously has its own colonial legacy too, though my family only benefited from it tangentially being workers in suburban Tokyo. They did own their own house.

But then even looking at those two, I do have immense privilege alongside a lot of trauma and bigotry. It obviously colours my experiences going forward.