- anytime I sign up for a subscription thing, I cancel instantly (if the service allows you to use it until the end of the time you paid for) That way I get the thing for the month I am most likely to use it and then my interest and subscription run out within weeks from each other.
- I found a friend with ADHD and when I get overwhelmed filling out documents, they are there to help me through. I try and do the same. I can deal better with forms other people have to fill out - maybe because my own stakes are lower, so it’s not so stressful.
- when I’m good, I try to make todo lists. The granularity of items is roughly proportional to emotional investment, i.e. how stressful starting it will be. They look vastly different in size (e.g. open the email, find the information, … vs. clean the entire apartment — maybe not the best example, but I hope it gets the idea across)
- I currently use an app called Finch for things I want to do regularly. I get points for doing them. I also have a task for the end of the day to write down what I didn’t do and why without judgement.. just to see if there are patterns.
- I “listen” to podcasts to calm down my own thoughts. It helps me concentrate on tasks. I don’t normally end up paying any attention to the podcast.
How is Finch going as far as longevity? I feel like I've used about a million different types of habit trackers or whatever and I use them for about a week and then get annoyed at having to do it every day. I always want so badly to keep up with them because data and trends/patterns over time is just super interesting to me, but they just never work out 😞
I’m not sure yet, but it’s got a couple of things that, for me personally, work in its favour:
It’s very cute and you take care of a lil bird you might form an emotional connection with. The bird goes on adventures and tells you about them after, it forms a character over time, explores different areas, and grows up. All of these things have made me come back to get the random ‘completion’ dopamine hit. Most other things that work for me fall in this category.. the app rewards you with stuff for your bird on different ways. It works almost too well for me but might not be everyone’s thing.
Another this is that you can add friends, which might help to hold you somewhat accountable. The interaction between friends is just a remote “I’m thinking of you” kinda thing, so it won’t help accountability on individual tasks, but might help opening the app.
Now.. I have found the ‘tracking’ side of the app a bit rough, so it might not meet your expectations on that end. The only helpful thing for me has been looking over a heat map of my responses to mood check-ins.
With all that being said, I’ve used it for about half a year now and I am just starting to struggle to motivate myself to use it. But I’m not quite ready to let go yet though…
Oh the bird thing sounds cute!
I might have to check it out. I'm very impressed that you've used it for half a year! For an ADHD-app-jumper, consistently using the same thing for more than a month is very inspiring to me lol
Haha.. I’m surprised too!! Good luck! Hope it works for a good while :)
Great list!
-
I made this countdown website You know that meme of "The event starts at 2pm, and its 10:30am--which is practially 11am--which is practically noon, and its an hour drive so i basically need to leave now!" Well this website solves that problem for me. On desktop it turns the top of the browser tab into a countdown (it can work on mobile too but its rough atm since I only made it for me). Type "
Mon,Wed,Fri 10:00am Class
" into the text box and it'll count down the seconds. Type "8:00am thing
" and it'll assume it happens everyday. Type12/25/2020 8:00am
and it'll know its a one time event. The text will stick around even if you refresh the page, so you can bookmark it and enter everything once. One card can have multiple times, just make a new line and put another time on it. I usually have something like8:40am leave
,9:00am class starts
,10:00am end of class
all in one card. Then I have a separate card for the next event. -
Using a sunlight alarm clock and a space heater to kickstart (and HEAVILY enforce) a morning routine
-
(Use a timer socket with the space heater to have it auto turn on)
-
It is incredible how effective this the combination is. You can go to bed at 1am and get up at 5a and still wake up in a decent mood, never pressing snoose, never dealing with a noise-maker. When it's hot and bright, your whole body just tries to be awake instead of trying to keep you asleep.
-
Do the exact opposite at night to break hyperfocus (use the thermostat clock to make it cold and have lights auto-turn off using timer sockets) it's difficult to keep working when it's really cold.
-
If you really need to be awake, add a gradually-increasing-volume music alarm
-
-
For subscriptions, use Privacy.com to create virtual credit cards. I have 1 card for each subscription. If I'm doing a free trial, I limit the card to $1 so if I forget it's not a big deal. When I want to stop a normal subscription, I don't even bother with the website. I just one-click cancel the card.
-
An Alarm hack; to set an alarm that goes off in 5 days (without downloading a better app) use the weekly-repeat feature and just select the only one day of the week. Then cancel the repeat when it goes off (or be like me and sooze it for 3 weeks then delete it). Everything on my calendar becomes an alarm once it gets close enough.
-
Have a "gradient" of food. E.g. some food you really like, some that's okay, and some that you won't eat unless you have to. During finals/crunch-time when you forget to go to the grocery store, there will still be food available when you really need it.
-
I've used many different task systems. I agree you've gotta have one, but its gotta work for you. My tip is; be ready to evolve it, and dont be afraid to be simple. I had a conplex auto sorting spreadsheet that was perfect for 3 years, but, at a separate time, I had a little black notebook that was awesome. One day the spreadsheet just stopped being useful, same with the notebook. Life changes, and it doesnt mean your system is a failure, or that you are "falling off". If anything it can mean you're growing. So always be looking at other people's systems to see if you can imagine adapting it to your own life. Also, be wary of the glamorous well-marketed overly-high-tech solution.
Finally, there's a general thing I call "their L, your W"
- There are weird things, like keeping your shoes on, that can keep you in a working mood (different for each person). The tip is, even if others say "tracking mud all over the house is unnecessary and a definite L", don't merely ignore them; make it clear you're intentionally taking their L--you'll will deal with the dirty floor later. Then enjoy/relish your win of staying in a working mood. DONT think "well taking my shoes off _shouldn't_™ matter". If it matters to your brain, it matters for you. If people complain "that doesn't make any sense", well the placebo effect doesn't make sense either, but its real. We're not being petty or lazy, we are being pratical.
- A funny one of these that works for me is having 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 fork, 1 knife, and 1 spoon in the kitchen (extras are in the attic and intentionally hard to get). My sink is never full of dirty dishes, and I never put off cleaning them.
- A really extreme example is; I got rid of my car. Best decision of my life. I never "try" to work out, I don't need to; I bike everywhere. I get benefits of working out for free (no mental cost). I get so much more done after being active, and when I'm late I can actually just try harder and get there on time. Takes a lot of planning, picking living location, etc to be able to, but it's worth it.
I try to automate as much of my life as possible. Can't forget to do something or screw it up if it's done for you.
For me that means:
- Writing a lot of scripts for work, because scripts are testable and reliable.
- I setup Jira to create new tasks on a schedule.
- I turn on desktop notifications for websites I frequent at work.
- All my bills are on auto pay and my paycheck is direct deposited.
- I setup Home Assisstant to turn lights on and off on a schedule.
- Outlook and Teams notifications. I have them installed on my phone too so there's additional notifications.
For things I can't automate, I have to externalize that information.
- I have a whiteboard to maintain my household tasks. It's sort of the "master list", I guess, of everything I need to do.
- I have a Heros Journal that I use to plan my night. I pick three tasks off the master list and write them down, as well as anything else I need to do that night. I ask my wife if there's anything she needs me to do and if there is I write that down too.
- At work I have Jira set up as master list, and i use a smaller paper notebook to plan my day. Also works if you find yourself needing a notebook quickly like for meetings or to not something down, or whatever. To make it fun and engaging I write in cursive so it's kind of novel.
And I use weed to make the whole thing work lol.
Replace mindless entertainment with enriching entertainment. E.g. YouTube video essays, lectures, history podcasts, DuoLingo, Anki, Brilliant, artsy/niche movies/games, etc. Always be learning something, even if you'll never need it. Try to limit yourself to memorable, unique, or mind-opening content.
It's no fix, but it trains your brain to be able to wait just a little longer for its dopamine. Also you get to feel like you're sort-of achieving something, not just losing time every time your impulsive brain takes over.
I'm intermediate level in 3 languages, know a shit ton of science, and have played thousands of unique indie games. Is any of this useful? lol no. But do I feel accomplished and in control of some big parts of my life? Hell yes.
On a similar note, I find NewPipe and Lemmy help a lot because they let you "bottom out".
Like, once you watch the recent videos from your subscribed channels on NewPipe... that's it. The feed just yells "hey, yeah, there's nothing interesting left in the feed cause you watched it all! Go do something!" Compared to the twitter/youtube/tiktok being like "yeah here's your timer/sleep-reminder or whatever... BTW 😏, did you see the title of this crazy irrelevant interesting event that everyone is talking about"
Lemmy has been kinda the same way as NewPipe. I can sort by recent on my subscribed communities and actually go through ALL the new posts.
I never expected it, but theres also a kind of satisfaction in knowing I've seen all of it; similar to clearing out an email inbox. I think really helps for getting my brain to not doomscroll. Still happens but feels managable instead of depressing.
Yeah, I'm grateful for Lemmy (ie to you all!) in that regard too - I totally didn't expect that kind of effect or that it would affect my life as much.
I wrote a python script that downloads my calendar and displays my next meeting on a small e-ink screen plugged into a raspberry pi zero that I attached to the top of my computer screen. Basically I tend to get so zoned in (or out) that I always forget to check my calendar. I receive so many messages like “Are you joining the call???” 10 minutes after the start time. If anyone’s interested I will share a link to the source code.
If you have Outlook, it will use a popup with a sound before meetings. The default is 15 minutes before and at the the start time, but it should be customizable. It's very helpful for me.
Thanks. I generally have notifications off because they’re too distracting.
I would like the link! I probably wont build it myself but I might look at it and build a similar system in the future.
Sure thing, check your DMs.
Never work on Saturday or Sunday. In other words, get enough rest.
I can manage my own mind a looooot better when I'm not stressed out or overworked. It. makes the difference of managing life for me.
(It also includes not to do too many exhausting fun things. NOT trying to control things for a day is so relaxing. If I stay in front of the Playstation and just eat junk food for a weekend, then I probably needed that)
I did this the other day, it was a completely alien experience. And I loved it, in moderation to be sure
Try it again in a year or so, feel similarly excited about it, and so on.
Nah, I know I need to slow down a lil bit, self-compassion and self-care and whatnot. Mind + body must be honored and nurtured, fuck the hustle
Calendar app synced to all devices, with a couple of different calendars in it for easy sorting. Task managing app. (I'm in the process of switching from Trello to Obsidian for tasks to try to incorporate them into the rest of my note taking activities. Oh also - an app for taking notes and writing things down)
Browse ~~reddit~~ Lemmy until I hate myself
workout at the gym until I'm satisfied/exhausted
maintain no schedule whatsoever
eat whenever I want but only healthy things because I'm nutritionally intelligent
keep no schedule whatsoever
sleep whenever I want, for as long as I want
repeat. As long as there's no schedule involved.
Sound good! I think I can squeeze that in between 9:45 and 10:15 on Tuesdays.
🙀
Best I can do is between 5 and 7
Finally a sane person I can relate to!
All of the mechanisms others are describing I totally get, but I can never maintain a routine/habit like that after it stops being new - I use various things others mentioned but then after a while & very abruptly/instantly I completely erase most associations with that not-yet-habit.
Eg I have some medicine I have to take daily and in order to take it most days I must keep changing the not-really-habit to keep it fresh - in this case I keep moving where (in the open) I keep the pills every few weeks (or when I casually notice I forgot to take them for like 5 days).
I do indulge myself with variable sleep schedule a lot, trying to manage that (for decades) was not worth the stress (and even much less the benefits of trying to fit in with neurotypical folk). Same with food - if I don't feel like eating for a day I just don't, and when I'm hungry I absolutely try to eat whatever I want bcs that's usually actually very healthy/nutritious food I want. But for both these things I'm lucky my situation allows me to do so.
That thing about eating 3 (or even 5) meals a day is just corporate (industrial) propaganda to maintain fixed schedules in the factories, it's less than 200 years old. In some medical cases (eg type 1 diabetes, liver issues, etc) sure, but Im also sure that, like with exercise, you get some endorphins when your liver goes to work into the opposite direction bcs you depleted short-term energy reserves (various carbohydrates in blood and liver?).
I've learned to force myself to do things immediately and ignore myself thinking "that's a small task, I can do it later."
While I could do it later, there is a 99% chance I will forget. Might as well do it now, when I am thinking about it.
I find it helpful to order UberEats and demand I have it done by the time it arrives ;)
When getting ready for the day, I put everything I'm going to use on the bathroom counter and put things away as I use each item, that way I don't forget to do something.
I check the mail and take out the trash / pull the bins up every day when I get home from work. I used to forget often, but making it a "do it every time" thing has made it a no-brainer.
I keep a reusable water bottle on my night stand, in the kitchen, in my car, and on my desk at work. I can't be bothered to carry a water bottle everywhere, so I have them everywhere. I do almost the same thing with phone chargers.
Similar to your bathroom tip, when cooking, I get out all the things I need and then either put ingredients away as I go or at least move them to a different part of the counter to indicate it's already in there.
Mis en place
excellent strategy. Kinda fun to actualize as well
Alexa for short term reminders and a calendar for long term reminders. I will forget my own funeral if I don't have it written down somewhere.
• Lots of reminders on my phone and calender that repeat each day.
• Organizers so I never lose anything... lots of them.
• Taking out everything I need for a task before I have to do it and putting each thing away as I'm done with it.
• If I think about the thing, immediately do the thing so I don't forget the thing.
• Creating lists.
• Having a scheduled routine for myself that I've gotten used to so I have some order and take care of myself.
These are just some of the things I do to help myself as someone who had severe adhd and doesn't take medication for it. Having some sense of organization and order helps to keep me somewhat on track. Doesn't always work, but it does help.
Serious question: how do you manage not to lose the organizers, and how do you remember to add stuff to it?
It always works a few days for me then I forget to bring it or add stuff and when I remember I feel like I ruined everything cause now there's a gaping hole of nothing in it and don't go back to it :(
Only way I manage it is to use my phone or something that I have with my all the time anyway. And the planner / to-do / calendar or whatever has to be right on the front of my screen so it's not an app I have to go check, it's just visible all the time.
Adding stuff is hard, until you get into the habit where it becomes pretty automatic (as long as your planner/phone is always right at hand - if I walk away thinking "I'll add that in later", I won't.)
My one tip is to put everything in it to begin with, it's more effort but it gets you in the habit quicker. So if you a morning routine, you can have "make coffee / brush teeth / read lemmy" as three separate tasks, and complete them all quickly. Or if random thoughts pop into your head during the day stick them on ("put a spare USB cable in my bag / Google terrapins"). Not only does it help me remember to do stuff, but it stops rando tasks distracting me. If I feel it's really important to check how much laundry detergent I have left, I can add a task, not stop in the middle of cooking somehting and rush off, only to come back and find dinner burnt.
For me, to-do lists work much better if I have to add and complete dozens of tasks a day. Because then it's something that feels like it's working and helpful, while if it's just "remember to do that big scary important thing" it just stresses me out and I ignore it. Obviously, ymmv, and some people find having lots of tasks distracting or hard to sort (or go down the rabbit hole of categories and color codes). But if it's something that I get regular dopamine hits from (by completing many small goals) I pay attention to it, while if it's something that just makes me anxious or feel guilty I won't.
ADHD
A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
- Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.