eBay is my oldest, not sure when exactly, 2001-2002-2003 something like that.

Next is my Something Awful forums account from 2005.

Actually, he's trying to stay out of prison now.

I'm betting on this guy not lasting until November 2024 (not sure what the over/under is on November 17, 2023).

That would imply an authority higher than Elon that he must submit to, and that just isn't possible.

Nobody expects you to understand a metaphor. It's for the rest of us to lol at.

I can't tell what that person's intent is because the post is filled with "I'm sorry you're upset" platitudes that accept no responsibility or even an understanding of why the mods are so upset in the first place; just more unpaid work they're expected to do to keep it from happening again.

It's just not sustainable. Lab-grown meat is here, it just needs to get to scale, get a bit cheaper and boom. Farming and killing animals for food will be obsolete.

Not everybody used to be on it. There was a stigma to socializing online. "Don't give out your address, full name, or credit card info online!!" Shit I don't want to have to give it to a person these days. Online dating, not my thing, but I love that it's bringing people together. It's not as strange to quit your job and move across the country to get married to your internet boyfriend as it used to be.

Most people on the internet are normal people because most people are on the internet.

I am not in this image and that costs me a lot of money in therapy.

:(

I use it around my hairline before I color my hair so as not to stain my skin.

Not to mention this is the state that lets anybody claim a $10,000 bounty on anybody aiding an abortion. Can't get anybody to cover your shift at work, watch your other kids, help you pay for doctors, flights, and hotels to just hop, skip, and jump on over to New Mexico because any busy body can sue those people for helping you get an abortion.

When people turn a popular post into an Oscars Acceptance Speech

ETA: wow thanks for the upvotes!

ETA2: omg my first gold award?? I couldn't have made it without my mom and Jesus through whom all things are possible