Just about every time I pass a car that got pulled over, the driver looks just like the monopoly guy

I don't think this is true when you can get arrested for trying to sleep outside or even just being I'm one place for too long. Vagrancy laws have been around for a very long time and have always been predatory. They used to be able to make someone a slave for not having a home. In the US our 13th amendment says you can legally be made a (prison) slave for committing "a crime".

Take your meds

You can barely taste the sawdust, plus the added fiber keeps me regular

Immunity to internet-reply-based side effects

Oh fuck I didn't realize we were declaring today. I hereby declare myself king of kings, all other kings are now subject to my rule, thanks.