Evilsandwichman

joined 4 years ago
[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 2 points 2 hours ago

I tried explaining these weren't jokes and it told me humor is subjective

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 3 points 3 hours ago

Well obviously; doctors make terrible lawyers

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 5 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

I'm gonna be honest, this one's not so strange; the law is gigantic with many little details in it that you have to specialize. This isn't general practitioner level medicine where any dimwit yokel can be like 'hyuck, put some cream on it!'; this actually takes years of practice and learning to get every little detail of how the laws work, using precedents and fact finding. The law is vast and every area, every little detail contains a world of little laws and how they're affected, and even different states can have their own versions of those laws; this isn't just looking at someone's anus and putting on your big boy hat and saying 'hurdy hur, thar's a hemorrhoid!'

 
  1. Why did the rogue sneak past the bard?

Because the bard was too busy playing his lute to notice!

  1. Why don't dragons like to fight paladins?

Because they always get burned by the holy smite!

  1. Why don't adventurers ever get lost in the underdark?

Because they always follow the drow signs!

  1. Why did the rogue take up gardening?

Because they have a natural talent for finding hidden paths!

The work day is gonna be loooooooooooooong

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 4 points 22 hours ago

That's clearly not a crane; more like a tractor really

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 30 points 1 day ago

It's the beret making him look French

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago

Colonize France and install this guy as the ~~shah~~ ~~Juan Guaido~~ King of France.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago

Honestly that's the most likely case (admittedly I don't seriously think the kid said this); if the kid has media literacy enough to understand the Barovians are supposed to be Israeli, he's smart enough to know it's the creators who would hate Israel (if they even do), not a fictional character.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 29 points 1 day ago (7 children)

What a disgusting kid by the way; he sees Superman preventing unarmed civilians from being massacred and rather than ask why the people who made the movie hate jews (which would still be incorrect), he asks why someone intent on preventing massacres of unarmed civilians hates jews (and let's not even talk about how he sees himself in the violent white colonizers and the Gazans in unarmed brown civilians). What an utterly lousy kid.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 37 points 1 day ago

the homeland that was founded on the ruins of the people who behaved like them in Europe in the 1930s.

What an absolutely disgusting human being; Palestinians, and yes that includes Hamas, have a right to defend themselves from colonial invaders.

I still don't get the people complaining about the Nazis being the bad guys in the new Wolfenstein games; absolute tourists

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago

Literally the only reason I went to go see a movie I was initially going to miss.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago

Not major spoilers but:

spoilerIt's not Superman himself, it's the movie (although it's not 'anti-Jew', it's anti-Israeli); Barovia is a US ally and they're being armed by the US and they're invading a brown country (that actually looks and sounds more Indian than Middle Eastern but Israelis probably can't tell different brown people apart). There's a ton of bureaucracy yelling down Superman for getting involved and stopping the Barovian army early on in the movie.

 

I know that there are a lot of non-Sentinelese people on hexbear, and I know their beliefs are sincere. What I don’t understand is how they square the fact that they would be brutally suppressed, r*****, tortured, murdered by the very groups/governments they unwaveringly love and support. It sickens me. Is it a manifestation of self-hatred? I just don’t get why they would degrade themselves like this.

(for those not getting the joke, this is a joke on this slop post: https://hexbear.net/post/5521160)

For the record I'm aware of why the Sentinelese are hostile to people not from their islands, and this isn't to deride them.

I recognize that my identity will be unwelcome in some parts of the world, and perhaps the reaction will be a violent one, but guess what? I still believe genocide and oppression of those peoples are wrong and I don't have to live everywhere; there's always going to be countries hostile to me but whoever thinks genocide or oppression is the answer should eat a bullet. There's no identity in colonized countries that gets a special pass, unless it's to be used as a weapon against their own countrymen but never actually embraced by the colonizer (for example Israeli Arab villages that still get demolished and their people scattered to colonizer doesn't care where, or in Algeria whom the rest of the people's nicknamed the sellouts 'beni oui oui' (the people of yes, yes)). We heard for ages that the anti-government citizens of Iran are the reason we should go and save them, but now those anti-government citizens are siding with their government because they don't want to be bombed and it's changed nothing about the desire for war with them. It's ridiculous that people think they can come up with an excuse for why genocide is acceptable, especially with things like 'they wouldn't create a democracy!'

Muhammad Ali: You my opposer when I want FREEDOM, you my opposer when I want JUSTICE, you my opposer when I want EQUALITY, you won't even stand up for me in AMERICA for my religious beliefs, you want me to go somewhere & fight, and you won't even stand up for me at home. If I'm gonna die, I'll die right here fighting you. I don't care, put me in jail

 

Thanks MSNBC, thanks for showing us why Republicans will just keep being popular

Thanks for being worse than utterly useless and insisting on being worse than utterly useless

'He won't condemn the phrase' is literally the subject they made for the video; worse than utterly useless

 

It shows anthropomorphized flags and that what keeps the peace between them is the distance between them; from among the responses:

They're baffled that a small region of space are governed with . . . More than 5 types of government. You got . . . Various kind of democracy but not actual democracy, few flavor of communist, somehow not monarchy, few absolute monarchy with one of them are somehow not decapitated.

Not only that, but there is one patch of the South China Sea literally claimed by 6 governments of 4 types of Government. Taiwan - Democracy. China, Vietnam - "Communist" dictatorship. Phillipines, Malaysia - Flawed Democracy. Brunei - Absolute monarchy

Ah yes, because we like Taiwan so much in its conflict with China, it's a real democracy

Also, while I admit I entirely don't know what Malaysia and the Philippines governmental situation is, is it being called a flawed democracy simply because it works differently to a Western one (similar to how China's democracy works differently to a Western one)? People were saying Libya was a dictatorship, and it turns out it's a direct democracy vs a traditional Western representative one

And there is China, building a toolshed in everyone's backyard.

Google 'Chinese bases around the world map' and then google 'American bases around the world map'

during the early colonization push, there were multiple groups on each colony world from different countries of origin. and then the revolution happened, a war for independence. history repeats itself. and space america will not be stopped.

This one's not sinophobic, just your regular chud (I checked his profile and he's a republican who thinks Zohran got fake votes)

Shouldn't there be a chinese guy shouting "fuck you, that's all mine"?

You mean like America with Puerto Rico and Hawaii?

God I hate redditors so much; I need to stop visiting that idiot pit

 
 

The source of much of this evidence is apparently Telegram, it contains:

169704 images

44049 videos

178 HTML files to browse through it all

The content itself is apparently very graphic, and the twitter user says it's more graphic than the stuff they usually upload.

Alt link:

https://xcancel.com/xIsraelExposedx/status/1941558732766257415

 
22
"23 (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net to c/slop@hexbear.net
 

v

 

They're claiming Haaretz, and their troops by extension, of spreading blood libel now. I'd say you can't make this stuff up but I feel the onion probably could have.

I'd post an archive link but I don't know how to find one.

Alt link:

https://xcancel.com/haaretzcom/status/1938627156562911523

 

MI6 get a new director who's the granddaughter of a Nazi spy literally called 'the butcher'

Now, if you followed the instructions in the title, fake news or news?

Now, once you've guessed and seen which comm it is, to the mods:

GIVE US AN 'ONION OR NOT THE ONION' SUB!

 

Oh and apparently America was going to end the sanctions; totally; they were going to do it for real real; no fakesies!

And apparently Iran, a country that's.....what, 70 times the size of Israel? Has apparently been decimated and is war torn; sure, and I have a bridge to sell you. Iran wiped the floor with Israel and their only mistake is they stopped attacking.

Yeah Trump was totally going to end the sanctions, but now he's so emotionally hurt for not having been thanked he just won't. Very adult of you; no idea why anyone would call you a grown manchild.

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