I believe you could be Kafka's stunt double with your writing.

Gregor Samsa, maybe not.

I dunno, Theodore was also a reknowned appreciator of natural beauty, so I could see it going either way.

Do I have to be a migrant for the free ticket to a better life outside Texas?

Is it gonna run afoulf of those "acts of god"?

I thouhht it was RA2's Mirage Tank.

Is it low pitch?

I have no skills in chemistry.

But I've always wanted to try prohibition-style smuggling.

As a completely and totally cis person, would this work with the funni make-girl pills?

No, but they could plan and act out a greater European conflict.

I'm clearly not the target audience (my TV is perma-tuned to the weather channel), but watching someone's senescent decline in real time is a bit morbid.

I, too, would like to crawl into an enormous hollow snack and lick my way out.

He's keeping with an ancient tradition of Roman ruins visitors! That said, please don't deface the ruins further.