RMiddleton

Truth is they NEVER hit! I guess I didn’t take enough… Oh! Wait a minute…

To get a compliment out of the way first, your basic guide to using markdown in WriteFreely is superb. I plan to make it my go-to reference.

I also see that your blog is an offshoot of a queer publishing group. Love everything about what you're doing. I embrace the sincerity in your questions, and on the blog. I am sitting 14,000 km away from you, feeling similar feelings.

If you will indulge, I have no answers but wish to express my own questions:

• What is worth doing?
• What is worth sharing?
• I have limited time and energy. Is a response necessary to provide reward for an action?
  Applies to art and non-art. Today I cleaned. Yesterday I did not. Does that make today better than yesterday? Does that make me a better person today than I was yesterday? Is existence enough?

I often jump from one thought to another like that, and see everything as linked. The links between art, existence, worthiness — how I evaluate myself; if & how I choose to present myself, shared with others; and the role the responses (or lack of responses) by others play in the value of what I do, who I am.

I am a 51 year old, white, queer, US American cis man, identifying as an artist for 30 years. Since 2020 I gave up "outside work" and spend my time reading, researching, thinking, writing, and making art. I do not make a living — that alone is sufficient evidence that I am not doing enough, not doing the right thing, not proving that my existence has value... at least according to a particular point of view. Rejecting that point of view is part of the mental work I am doing to accept myself and all others as worthy by virtue of being living humans on this shared Earth.

I do not offer answers. I have endless questions.
I wish you well.
Rob

P.S. On community & being found: I am using Kbin right now. I am also enjoying the Fediverse via Mastodon, Pixelfed, Firefish, Funkwhale, and WriteFreely. I found your post by searching Kbin for "WriteFreely". I have a blog on Paper.wf that is not permitting any posting at the moment. I came here in hopes of finding answers, or a Paper.wf community or WriteFreely community. Yet another example of the difficulty of being found and finding connections is that these Fediverse offerings are truly wonderful assortments of largely lovely people — and they pale in numbers compared to those other awful places that I am used to. It is difficult for me to find meaningful input from more than a handful of people anywhere on the Fediverse. I am working on it. I believe what I want/need is not easy to find, on- or offline. In any case, I did not find any explanation for why my WriteFreely instance Paper.wf is not working. Instead I found your authentic expression of hope for connection. I suppose I wrote this response instead of writing in my blog (that no one sees 😛). I hope that Paper.wf resumes functioning some day. In the meantime, even when the Fediverse has technical flaws or I am not making many connections, I still feel happier and healthier here than in other online options.

To calm my mind I work to reduce:

• unwanted inputs
• broadcast media
• advertising
• bad faith arguing (and the unfortunate corresponding output of me arguing back, feeling angry & hopeless)
• time and energy spent harming my own wellbeing (I chose a path of financial instability for mental health; my prior jobs made me & the world worse)

& to increase:

• silence
• walking
• nature appreciation
• reading
• creativity
• meditation

Meditation is something I have felt for years I should do, but didn’t. Just last week I started a new daily practice. I had difficulty with apps and podcasts and YouTube videos because of the capitalist need for $urvival. When the path to inner peace features billboards I tend to lose focus. So I started doing it myself. I’m recording the sessions and will share them to encourage others who may be like me. I intend to show that maybe it’s not so difficult and foreign to pause and breathe and talk to oneself. In no way am I following any meditation tradition. I considered coming up with another label but felt that meditation would be the one most easily understood. I have joined this community and will post my meditation series here in the next week or two.

My name is Rob. I’m 51. I’m an abstract expressionist painter. My diagnoses (received in my early 20s) are ADHD, major depression, and eventually bipolar. I have taken many prescriptions. I have attended much therapy. I’m not doing either at the moment, for a combination of financial and DIY/philosophical reasons. I do not judge the course others take on their route to survival. At least I aspire not to judge. It’s one thing I’m working on, including in meditation.

P.S.
I experienced mild anxiety as I wrote this comment in the form of these thoughts:

• Maybe after one day HandOfDoom already received enough response. I can think of many times I’ve reached out online then retreated as I felt overwhelmed by replies — and I’m not talking as someone with a huge following, 3 replies can overwhelm me!
• If I’m not careful I will write a book length response because figuring this stuff out is my life story.

Since you mentioned “boring” — Probably the most out of step thing about me is that I think boredom is healthy. I think constantly stimulating stories (and consumption habits, relationships, news…) are interfering with the hard, slow work of sustainable existence. (I just realized I’m almost quoting Dr. Wong! Sorry lol)

I crave entertainment and distraction. And I admit my huge flaw of falling into a lecturing tone. Sigh. I don’t mean it. I only want to control me. It’s just that for most of my life I’ve been pretty unhappy and dysfunctional & I see links between my past state and a desire for escape and constant entertainment. Is this still about kissing in movies? Maybe. We are just sharing opinions on the internet. Getting feelings out is good.

Gonna go watch Andy Warhol’s “Sleep” now…

I consider them part of normal human behavior and therefore natural in movies. If anything I might think more intimacy should be portrayed on screen. But this question and many of the replies let me see that I am not necessarily typical in my view that sex, love, and kissing are no big deal in media.

I’m curling up to a movie right now on Hooplah & last night watched one on Kanopy, two streaming services I get free with my library card.

For some reason I have never noticed this before, or else I have just forgotten it in the 3 decades since I was in college.

List of Fediverse admins pledging to pre-block Meta instances: https://fedipact.online

It will be possible to have accounts on multiple instances, those that block Meta or federate with Meta. Then see what happens.

I recommend the realistic perspective offered by Teri Kanefield. I started following her on Twitter. Now she's very active on Mastodon and as a blogger. [See @Teri_Kanefield or https://law-and-politics.online/@Teri_Kanefield or https://terikanefield.com/] Like her, I would say that I do not feel confident or optimistic, but I also try to avoid being fatalistic. I do not expect his most ardent supporters to change their views no matter what, but I do not think that they are anywhere close to 53% of the population. All I'm really saying is that I believe that after a trial, or several trials, the number of Americans wanting him to be pardoned would fall below half. It's just a guess based on how little is known now. To be up front, I didn't read the linked article, I'm only commenting on that 53% result. This poll was taken at a time when we have less information than we will at the end of trial(s). Also, if you just picture "ex-Pres Trump in jail" many of us squeal with glee but many Americans probably can't picture it. Let's say that during the course of the trial(s) there is discussion about how his incarceration might look—possibilities from supervised house arrest with media blackouts to some comfortable quarters within a secure military base. Talking about it makes the possibility take shape. Some portion of that 53% might be comfortable with the image of him playing golf, dressed in polos not orange jumpsuits, but restricted in terms of movement and communications.

In answer to your question, convicted felons are not prevented from running for president. One upshot of this is that political prosecution is not a thing in the US. We show our judgment when we vote, and that collective judgment is considered to be above all other factors. Obviously a large percentage of us have poor judgment, much of it based on disinformation. The solution to everything is voting, and convincing others to vote—particularly the cynical and low information types. Our media is personality driven but liking or not liking Trump, Biden, Kamala personally is so much less important than voting for democracy over fascism.

1. The precedent is that Nixon was pardoned & people cannot wrap their minds around the idea of an ex-president serving a prison sentence.
2. We are at the beginning of his first criminal prosecution for something other than behavior relating to sex and money. The number of people wanting him to be pardoned is likely to fall as strong evidence is presented, and as he is charged in other venues for additional harm committed against the nation. During the course of his trial(s) more citizens will come to understand how he has endangered the safety of specific individuals serving this country as well as general welfare and security. I imagine there are bombshells yet to be disclosed. Having said all that a certain percentage will never wish to see him behind bars, but I believe a majority will come to believe that it is right.

Agree with observations above. It could be related to ADHD. I also wonder if you experience chronic pain of any kind? Those are the two factors that can cause clumsiness in me. Good luck!

I’m not currently using RSS, it’s been years. And yes I also felt overwhelmed. I have same problem with Podcasts on my iPhone and honestly email. Just like in most cases I don’t want to be pushed content. My brain feels bad for not keeping up. The best use of RSS that I can imagine for me would be following a small number of original content creators who post erratically in multiple platforms. It’s another reason I love the fediverse so much bc we can slap /feed on the end of many addresses to pull that content elsewhere. And again I’m not currently using RSS lol. I’m just saying that I might use it for passionate follows. I think it’s a useful tool for getting people free of the big bad platforms.