Elder millennial here

63

Tldr: my wife and I get into verbal fights quite often (once a month or so) I get over it in an hour and it takes her days. Both of us think that the other's timeline isn't normal. What's typical/normal?

I'm ADHD (my current therapist thinks it's AuDHD) so I'm prone to emotional deregulation and pretty crazy mood swings. I'm pretty sure my parents are somehow ND as well so I don't have the best basis. My wife is also ND, but it's audio processing not emotionally related

My wife and I get into fights and arguments sometimes over petty stuff. I feel I hear her out but it's difficult for her to listen to me straight through as I tend to take a while to get to my point. She interrupts me a lot with either snide comments or questions that if she just waited a sec I'd answer. This leads me to getting frustrated and raising my voice and yelling, which gets her pissed off and raises her voice and suddenly we're in a shouting match.

Eventually one of us gives up or realizes they're wrong and we end the fight and go to our separate (safe) areas.

After about an hour I feel I'm back to normal and can talk about other things. (We usually have something we need to do with our kids or work or the house that we need to communicate on).

My wife feels it takes her a day or two to come down from a fight so shes very short with me until that time, where I feel I can talk after an hour or so.... She feels that it's not normal to change in that short of time.

What do people think?

16
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Having issues gathering vyvance, which is slightly working for me. A friend suggested that she has friends who can help get some from Brazil, where the DEA isn't down everyone's throat. Just curious about people's experiences

31

HELP!!!

I have three situations, all would be very helpful if I could manually update the mappings of individual files or albums. If this is the wrong sub/community, can you point me in the right directions?

  1. I have an album that i accidentally mapped to the wrong artist/album combination and now it won't let me change it because I also tagged it, even renaming doesn't help.
  2. I have an album where the 1st and 6th song switched during the mapping/renaming/tagging process and now, even if I rename the files and retag them manually using id3, both lidarr and plex think they're the wrong track
  3. I have an album that's not only a standalone album, but also a disc in a box set, I'd rather have it as part of the box set, but can't figure out how to unmap/remap the album to move it to under the box set, when I have the rest of the box set already set up properly

Any help would be appreciated, thanks!

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 31 points 6 months ago

Father of a 2.5 yr old here ... Have a few friends who just had kids as well.. I told them the same shpiel

  1. The next few months will be the toughest thing you ever go through (comparable to back to back all nighters in college, but this time it's for a few months)... Esp if you're working and don't have good paternity leave. But after you get over that hump. .... It gets a lot better and now you're in the club where everyone knows what you went through because they've been through it too.
  2. If your/your partners parents are in the picture and offer to babysit. Take up the offer. Go have a date night with your partner... It'll relieve a lot of stress
  3. If you live in a decent area, go for walks with the little one as often as you can. (in a bassinet/stroller obviously)
  4. If you're in a western country... If you ever feel like you're doing too little, the littlest amount of effort on your part gets much more props than the amount of effort. Just being there for your new kid and changing every 10th diaper is doing better than 60% of dads out there.
  5. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has amnesia about the next 6ish months. They'll say things like "why are you so tired? I don't understand!" Or "it wasn't that bad when we had kids".... It was. They just blocked it out
  6. When the kid gets off milk, any spices yall use usually in cooking. Or just generally like that aren't spicy. Expose it to them ASAP. It does wonders for their pallet and they'll be less picky in a few years
  7. Both you and your partner are stressed. You will fight and hate each other. Don't make any big life decisions for the next few months.

Hope this helps... Enjoy the journey.

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 87 points 6 months ago

There's an old saying in computing. "you improve usability by taking away options and features" apple didn't necessarily invent this mindset. But they perfected it.

They took BSD, a security focused, but not very user friendly, offshoot of Linux/unix and made it "popular" by adding several layers of polish and doing a lot of the configuration work for you and made it osx. This was a time when Linux usability/management on the personal/newbie scale was garbage. If you wanted to install a certain distro of *nix, you better make sure you have supporting hardware and the right up to date tutorial, which is managed by an unknown volunteer, which was usually some person bored on the weekend a few months ago and never updated, they've made *nix installation and management a lot better though recently.

They also did this with music. People used to have large collections of unorganized mp3s in the early 00s, unless you were really anal and had a lot of time in your hands, because you were likely downloading them from several different illegal places, and legally buying mp3s were all over the place. You could buy the album off this weird obscure website that you didn't want to trust with your CC information, because there were a lot of mom and pop music stores online. Then apple brought out iTunes and allowed both buying and managing (and eventually upgrading, traveling around with) music to be dead simple.

For smartphones, they stole a LOT from BlackBerry, but they took it to the next level. Blackberry had email, a private messaging network, and mobile web scrolling waayyyy before anyone. And so many people loved it so much that even Obama famously didn't want to give his up when he took office. Then apple came out with the iPhone, and blew it away with a bigger screen and again, a lot more polish.

Innovation happens in small steps over years. Apple didn't invent mobile phones, smart phones, tablets, or computing, they didn't invent security, encrypted audio/video calls, or music management. They've done a lot of crappy stuff, and they charge super high amounts of money for less than state of the art hardware. Their innovation could be summed up by this profound statement I remember a friend said to me once around 2003/4.

"Osx, because making Linux pretty was easier than fixing Windows"

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 25 points 6 months ago

I've tried this. Guy next to me was playing a video game on full blast that I can hear over my noise cancelling headphones. I asked him if he could turn the sound down.

He said "F you! This is my console. I do what I want! You're the only one complaining so shut the f up".....

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 10 points 6 months ago

(looks around)

(To neighbor) psst who's gonna tell this guy that unbreakable not only got a sequel. It's start of a trilogy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unbreakable_(film_series)

(Neighbor to me) I think he's being sarcastic....

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 7 points 7 months ago

This and caffeine

Wife thinks I'm being lazy bc I crash and don't help with baby on weekend mornings .. I call her lazy when she falls asleep after I put the toddler to bed on weekdays.

We have a happy marriage.

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 7 points 7 months ago

This makes much more sense. On my first run through of ds9 and this has been bothering me

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 13 points 7 months ago

Ok so next question. If the computer can magically create anything. And they are on almost all space stations (including cardassian/federation ones) what's the point of a bar?

Gambling makes sense. Paying for food/drink when you have a replicator doesn't.

56
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org to c/startrek@startrek.website

Whenever there's a storyline with quark, they talk about money/latinum.

I remember in one of the next gen episodes that there was discussion about money and Picard said something about how they've moved away from money.

So do Starfleet get paid now?

Update: thank you for the quick responses. From what I'm gathering the tldr is that the following is the answer

  • Ferengi love for money/not being a post scarcity society by design
  • Bajorans being so near their slavery times and not post scarcity yet
  • Quark creating an atmosphere of camaraderie/gambling/upgraded replicators/actual food

All this requires some form of currency.

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 29 points 7 months ago

Similarly, I dated a woman named Annie a few years back. Everyone of my geekier friends, when I introduced her, asked, "are you ok? Are you ok Annie?"!

4

Hey all, just found this sub

Any recommendations for an electric razor to use on your head in the shower? I've been shaving my head with a Gillette simple razor for a few years now. But every time I change the blade I end up with way too many nicks and cuts.

Thoughts?

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 123 points 8 months ago

Hmmmmm. Let's see here.

People don't like cable, because it's too expensive and inconvenient

People start pirating

People like having 2-3 streaming services that show everything, without ads, for much cheaper even combined than cable. They stop pirating.

People don't like having 20-30 streaming services that show only a little in each service, NOW WITH ADS!?!?! and that become MUCH more expensive than cable ever was.

People start pirating again......

I wonder what happened?!?!

17

In the US, if you make a lot, are covered by a work retirement account or you contribute to a Roth, you can't deduct traditional ira contributions right?

So that money gets added to the rest of your traditional ira monies right? and then when you hit retirement age, you have to pay income level taxes on deductions on that already post tax money right?

Why get taxed twice? What's the benefit? +Not being able to touch it til retirement age.

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 31 points 8 months ago

Worked at a medium sized retail startup as a software engineer where we didn't have root access to our local laptops, under the guise of "if you fuck it up we won't be able to fix it" but we only started out with a basic MacBook setup. so every time I wanted to install a tool, ide, or VM I had to make a ticket to IT to come and log in with the password and explain what I was doing.

Eventually, the engineering dept bribed an IT guy to just give us the password and started using it. IT MGMT got pissed when the number of tickets dropped dramatically and realized what was going on.

We eventually came to the compromise that they gave us sudo access with the warning "we're not backing anything up. If you mess up we'll have to factory reset the whole machine". Nobody ever had to factory reboot their machine because we weren't children... And if there was an issue we just fixed it ourselves

[-] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 76 points 8 months ago

How does the math work that they did it 10x with 85% working?

Also wtf gaslighting. This is a whole new level of negging

3

Hi,

I'm looking for a case that not only has a screen protector that's not a glorified sticker. But also a way that has a magsafe back so I can use a magnetic wireless charger.

I've seen quite a few that's the former (my current one), a few the latter, but none that are both :(

Thanks!

view more: next ›

aredditimmigrant

joined 9 months ago