Raise your hand if, when the shit goes down, you're going to care about who bought what land.

Now raise your hand if you're going to be re-enacting scenes from the "Mad Max" movie franchise.

I mean, hair plugs don't really do anything for anyone.

Elon is the standard candle for dipshittyness. All other dipshits are gauged in "Elon units" of how irredeemably dipshitty they are.

Shades of Wendy meat from Rudy Rucker's "Ware" tetralogy

Thank you for your UNSOLICITED AND SUBJECTIVE OPINION.

After brief consideration, I have determined it to be of absolutely no worth to me, but your very singular wit is welcome to it.

Well I think we can all agree not to put you in charge of any important decisions after today.

Your pedantry is unbecoming of a 21st century person, especially considering the event is "The Olympic Games" not "The Olympic Sports".

Who are these ice cream hating fools?!

Arguably, a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cows digestive tract makes more sensible commentary than Rogan.

Oui oui!

But that is why, if they catch you, and you haven't obliterated a family, you still catch heat.

This lying bitch isn't likely to catch nearly enough to deter future drunk driving at the keyboard. When we catch you driving drunk you lose your fucking license.