jeremyparker

I locked myself out of the house this morning. The weather app on my phone said it “felt like” -2 degrees, and I agree with it.

I had my coat and hat, but my legs were underprepared, I was wearing sweatpants without long underwear.

My wife was at work about a mile away and she didn’t see my texts for about a half hour. I could’ve walked to her work in that time, but I was so paralyzed by the situation that I couldn’t do it.

(We live in a big city, we walk or bike everywhere, or take trains when it’s far. Walking to her work is normal…but cold is cold.)

I have “a thing” about not wearing clothes like that outside, and I’ve only ever done it once or twice, I just went out to bring my kid to school a few blocks away… I have a lot of “things.” And I don’t deal with crises super well; my actions tend to be ok but my communication fails.

So anyway, I eventually got frustrated with my wife’s lack of response and I texted her in a frustrated tone. If the situation was reversed, I would’ve raced back home to save her, and if I had missed the texts, I would’ve been apologetic, and more than understanding if she was frustrated.

She said I should’ve called instead of texting, but I couldn’t talk. She called me and I tried to tell her I couldn’t talk but she insisted. I ended up hanging up on her, which is…not good. She wouldn’t listen, “I don’t want to text” she said. She’s very verbally oriented; she spends like half her time on the phone with her sister or her mother. I prefer being quiet, and I frequently just can’t.

I had immediately apologized for my frustrated tone and for hanging up; I learned to apologize a long time ago and I mean it when I do it.

It felt like she didn’t want to have to go out in the cold, take time out of work, and go through the effort of coming to help me. I get that, it was very cold, but.., idk, I guess sometimes you do it anyway? It felt like she was using my rudeness as an excuse to not help or to be mad about helping.

I had gone out to drop off my kid without my keys, but we have a garage door and a little keypad for it. I knew I didn’t have my keys but I also knew i had a fallback. The batteries in the keypad had been dying for a while, which made it not work in the cold; the problem was resolved — until today.

She called again, I think just to yell at me. She had already texted telling me she had left work and was headed home to help; she didn’t call to tell me that. She was furious on the phone. I hung up on her when she said she hated me. I think hanging up on her may be the most egregious offense; I try not to do it, I know she hates it, but idk, I guess sometimes you do it anyway?

I tried warming up the keypad with my hands; I alternated hands, one under my shirt on my bare stomach to warm up while the other hand exhausted its warmth on the keypad. Shockingly, it worked.

I told her immediately and tried to avoid communicating after that. I think we talked on the phone again? I don’t remember. I apologized several more times — not “I’m sorry but”, it was just “I’m sorry”, with a “I hope you can understand the situation I was in” afterwards.

Our “fight” has not yet been resolved and there next time I see her, or kids will be there and maybe also one of my parents, so we won’t be able to talk about it. Not that there’s anything to talk about. Either I will grovel and agree that I did everything awful and she was perfect, or we deal with a cloud over our heads for a few days until she/we eventually move on, and it just gets added to the vague cloud of indecipherable reasons why she should’ve married someone else.

Sorry to dump on the thread, I needed to vent and I don’t really have anywhere safe to do it.

In that very specific way I am not like a lost bat, but in many other ways I am exactly like one.

For me the noise and over stimulation is a big part of it, but there’s also a much more complex web of expectations that I don’t understand, and my “over confidence” (read: my failure to have adequately absorbed the cultural suppression of self esteem) tends to put me into a social position that someone with me lack of skills should not have.

When I do a conference presentation (like I’m preparing for later this week), I can prepare a very scripted set of remarks, and that tends to go well, but off the cuff, I feel like a plate of spaghetti.

It is exactly our compassion for humanity that we are culturally celebrating that dude’s death

Joking aside, it’s actually not. It was invented to explain why a particular group of captives were critical of the cops who arrested their captor — but it turns out it was because the cops were incredibly incompetent and nearly got them all killed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norrmalmstorg_robbery

I'm not sure tbh -- I use a mbp for work, but if I'm on it, I'm usually not gaming... That said, I bought a steam deck last summer and it's amazing. I haven't played a console or handheld in like 15 years so my thumbs are weak and flimsy... but spending a summer evening out on the stoop with the steam deck while watching my kids run around like kids... doesn't get much better than that.

Back in my day we used to make “tfw” (that feel when) or “mfw” (my face when) posts that rarely if ever contained a face or a feeling

So you hate women and don’t want them to have bodily autonomy? You see how that sounds? It’s the same logic as your argument.

Came here for this. How can they legally use a headline like that. This is why we can’t have nice things.

You make a compelling point, for sure. There are definitely features that fall into that category (eg page transitions), there are a lot of other things coming out these days that just make life easier.

For example, in chrome (and in the spec) you can now animate between ‘height: [number]’ and ‘height:auto;’ just the other day, I had to write a python function to estimate the highest of a menu based on its length * the line height of the list items, so I could provide an exact height to animate to. It works, but it’s hacky and gross. It would be nice to have access to the solution.

If both of them support genocide, but one also supports banning abortion, the ethical choice is to vote for the one that won’t ban abortion.

If you’d rather wait until a candidate arrives that agrees with you on every issue, that’s fine, but you’ll probably never vote, and in the meantime, by not voting, supporting whichever candidate you like less.

While there’s no honor in the presidency, there is honor in doing what you can to reduce harm, and if you can’t reduce harm to the Palestinians, at least you can reduce harm to American women and girls.

You’re not wrong, but, like with critics of other “abolish such-n-such” statements, you’re missing a core part of it: replacing “such-n-such” with something better. Copyright has a few important purposes, and I don’t think anyone would want to eliminate it without covering those — and the need for creators to survive, and maybe even flourish, is chief among them.

(Same thing with “defund the police” — the intention was to redirect that funding to crime prevention and “alternative policing” (eg send therapists to mental health emergencies instead of cops). That was arguably the biggest PR fail of the century.)

Also, very very minor point, but as a librarian:

content libraries

I think “content collections” would be a better term, to preserve the free-to-share subtext of the word “library” — and “collection” has more of a hoarding context, which fits.