Communism can only exist globally in a world without scarcity. So while I wholeheartedly accept socialism in one country, I think we have to acknowledge that China isn’t going to reach communism alone.
I do however think that Marxism is nothing if not constantly adapting or “reforming” to changing material conditions. So if the dictatorship of the proletariat remains, I think this is the only path towards developing socialism
My fear of death is mostly because I’m scared of leaving my wife and child in a desolate world where I can’t be there to support them, but at the same time, they are my biggest motivation for changing this world.
I don’t think you’re a coward, comrade. This is a very natural fear that we all carry with us at some point in our lives.
What helped me accept death is asking the question: “Would I really want to live forever?” Imagine immortality really. Watching everyone you know and care about die while you remain. Sounds like an awful existence to me.