Apparently, 78 or 81 is a perfect age to run for President.

You can disable this "feature":

1. Visit about:config

2. Set "dom.private-attribution.submission.enabled" to false

IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT THIS MEME ABOUT CRANKING HOGS WOULD BE WAY BETTER IF IT HAD FLAMING SKELETONS IN IT.

Can anyone prove it's NOT an extra-long cow?

It's not about money, it's about sending a message.

Phase 1: Fuck around

Phase 2: Find out

Incentives like this are tricky. You can reduce the numbers by fixing the problem, or by sweeping it all under the rug. Guess which is easier to do on a quarterly basis?

I didn't know about that. At my company, the head of HR (3.5x average salary) recently told everyone, "If you want a higher salary, go work at [rival company]." This was onstage in front of ~150 people.

Obviously someone with BEAST MODE activated.

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

It's such a common mistake. The doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name.

I have it on good authority that color-coded uniforms are the future.

• Blue = Medical, scientific
• Yellow = Engineering, security, operations
• Red = Command