overview for ozmathewitch

i think i understand what you are feeling. as some have said, this is not the best thought process that you can have regarding this but its not a shameful one in my opinion, especially because you recognize its petty and you wanted to put yourself out there about it. being someone that had a "#1", them passing away violently and suddenly, then embracing a new "#1" that i am also a "#1" for, i can say that sometimes i wish the person i am so called "#1" for had someone else that could fill those shoes sometimes. it sounds like this is a trauma bond that those two share and while they can beautiful, sometimes its very hard to share that space with someone and being the only one that can

EDIT: added missing words

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on vulnerability (CW, sui mention) (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ozmathewitch@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

1 comments fedilink

Hey all, this is my first post so hello and thank you all! Have been on HRT (estradiol, spiro, progest.) for about 7 months and the entire experience has been in a simple term, life-saving. I wasn't actively sui but I was extremely depressed and probably heading that way. Anyway, on to vulnerability. I noticed a pretty immediate shift in my mood upon starting HRT. A combination of my medication and not feeling so depressed has added much more definition to my emotional life and it has pros and cons. One key thing I noticed was how much more vulnerable I am willing to be in my relationships. I noticed it yesterday when I got into an argument with my partner. I remembered earlier that week how I had related something to them when I was feeling very vulnerable but trusting. The contrast of trust in the argument vs when I was feeling open with him was very jarring and I felt very gross for having let him in at that capacity earlier. I'm not sure if its necessarily a problem but its something that I need to keep in mind as I continue.