You mentioned you're studying something you don't like, so what do you like? I think exploring this is extremely important. If there's something you'd really like to do and have the potential to pursue professionally, you could eventually help your mom with some expenses. Unfortunately, depression and anxiety can ruin any motivation you have.
Sending you a hug.
While it's not an answer to your question, I recommend Hepsima's videos. He's a Finnish guy who speaks in Mandarin with people from China. His videos motivate me to learn Mandarin, and maybe when I reach a more advanced level, I'll also speak with people from China like him to practice.