I think you should be able to disable notification sounds on pretty much any distro and desktop environment out there. For example I use Fedora with KDE and you can just open up System Sounds and uncheck "Enable Notification Sounds" and it'll just be quiet.

As for waking up from sleep randomly, I never noticed it wake from sleep randomly. I vaguely remember it doing that when I had Windows installed on it a few times.

oh really? I didn't know that

Eyyyy lets go Jimmy!!

I was about to be real sad seeing his picture and reading the first 5 words of the headline, but the last two really made my day. I feel like no one makes it past like 3 weeks in hospice care, but he's still going

"now listen, this first one's a warning for double parking. A plain slice. But next time, we won't be so lenient. You're getting anchovies and green peppers"

"To unlock the use of vowels, please purchase our LibreOffice Gold Subscription for $12.99 a month and disable your firewall"

just like IRL trees and computer science trees!

Bro $10 and its not even real money??? You can't buy anything for $10 on Uber Eats even if the coupon worked.

the documents folder on the computer that Microsoft has in your house

guy has 12 children and probably talks to none of them in any sort of meaningful way

the absolute blessing of never seeing Mr. Beast's face whenever I am signed in.

"Well that was certainly a wild interview, but you definitely seem like the least traumatized person who's interviewed for this position by far so you're hired."

I'm rootin for ya, Florida Man