thefartographer

Forsaken by my parents, I must bake
A pie, a biscuit, or even a cake
My parents, so proud, say that they love it
I, too, am fulfilled cuz in them, I shit

If nutty, to them, I serve up a pie
Or a dish more savory, if corn supplied
Since I was a child, I have done this
I am better at it than at rhyming

If you want a nice treat, leave out the poo
Or keep it in, really, it's up to you
As you make what I bake, something might stink
Solutions are found in my sponsored links

Now I will let you get to the big bake
More words are needed for profits at stake
Please take care and enjoy my recipe
Return next week when I make drinks from pee

Shitting spaghetti

Someone should throw salt at it. Y'know... For the melt and traction. No other reason at all.

Even betterer, give the plane to Snoop Dogg to film Soul Plane 2: Qatari Boogaloo

You take some flour, and some room temp eggs
Room temperature butter is the best
And some warm milk, you stage it with the rest
Vanilla, sugar, and baking soda
If you forget your berries, you are fucked
Iambic pentameter is shit. Salt.

Get all of these items into a big bowl
Mix it or whatever, I am not your boss
Batter should be consistency of sludge

Heat your oven to the maximum temp
Pour your batter directly in oven
Leave your house, tell neighbors you broke your toe
Return to home, act surprised it is ash
Get insurance check, use to buy muffins

Prep time: 30-45 minutes
Cook time: 2 months if insurance is fast

Sure, I did a bad job. But in my defense, I put more effort into this than I should have and wasted everyone's time. Especially mine.

Good. I'm gonna miss all y'all cool tourists, but better safe than sorry. Hopefully, we'll meet again soon.

Hard reboots/power cycling are gonna be a real pain in the ass. I suspect that there's gonna be significant downtimes until they switch from Windows to Linux and then figure out their super space drivers. Considering the millions it costs to launch someone into space, the IT astronaut who has to unplug this and plug it back in is going to be the most expensive tech support/hour ever.

From the inside out

I just reported a question, not because of the content of the question but because the buttons were formatted strangely and clocking on them caused the question to refresh. It was about cassettes vs CDs.

Other than that, this is pretty fucking legit. What a simple, fun, useful tool! And I mean simple as in "easy to explain," not "easy to make."

Thank you for sharing!!!

ETA: I just got served either the same question twice (with a different question between each time), or found duplicate questions. If the same question twice, I'd be concerned about individuals skewing results. If a duplicate question is being submitted, it might be helpful (albeit slower) to run word matches against strings and then check the IP address of the submitter (if you record that) on anything with over 90% match and then let that user know they've already submitted this question.

Don't mind if I do! 🍴

I want that laser gun!

Who would ship a fugitive back to us? The tariffs are too high.