I feel so bad for Monica Lewinsky and for us as a nation. She was so young, naive, optimistic, and driven. An old man with power took advantage of all of that and ended up ruining her career for a stupid blowie. Granted, she fucked up by telling her friend, but once again, young and naive.

In the past decade or so, she's been an incredible speaker and activist and it makes me sadly wonder how different our country would be if she'd stayed in politics. She's one of those people who I'd love to meet but would be too scared to then learn something disappointing about her.

I'm really enjoying the mental image of a woods-based comedy thriller, a scene in which I'm loading my shotgun while trying to strategically placed myself against a rock or tree. Shouting threats and trying to reason with a squirrel or whatever that was in a tree, I fire off my shotgun, sending dozens of terrified birds and arboreous rodents fleeing and dislodging a barrage of various nuts and mast that rain on me.

"It's an ambush!" I cry out before pumping my own leg full of ricochet shot off of my hiding post.

Wow, here they make you the frontrunning candidate

Yes, let's discuss how unnecessary they are after all the shooting stops

The Germans will be furious

It's a film now???

Oh shit, can we arrest both of them???

I once threatened to come up there and fistfight whatever woodland creature threw that acorn at me. I had no clue where it was and I was unwilling to actually do any climbing.

Don't you try telling me how stupid I can be in the wilderness.

Please don't shoot

Look, don't do any kids, no matter what drugs they're on!

Everyone knows that iron, like all abbreviated four-letter nouns gets abbreviated as the first three letters.

Iro
Jun
Fuc

See? Easy peasy

Boy am I gonna miss being able to easily multiply by nine