IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Special Thursday Cinema Night, first up is The Long Gray Line (1955), one of the most critically-acclaimed films from one of Hollywood’s most renowned filmmakers, John Ford. It follows an Irish immigrant (1955) over his fifty-year career in the US military, as he goes through various loves, friendships, and losses, all rendered in glorious Technicolor. Think of it as a sort of 1950s Forrest Gump (1994), with a less-dumb protagonist. The only other Ford we’ve watched so far is My Darling Clementine (1946), which was pretty good, so let’s check this one out too.

After that is Ballerina (2023), a Korean action-thriller about an ex-bodyguard skilled in both close-combat and gun duels, who decides to avenge the murder of her best friend. This involves shooting and killing a whole bunch of shitty men as she mows her way through the local crime syndicates. Chicks are gonna rock. Director Lee Chung-hyun is otherwise known for the thriller The Call (2020), which we have not yet watched.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• The Long Gray Line: https://letterboxd.com/film/the-long-gray-line/
• Ballerina: https://letterboxd.com/film/ballerina-2023/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• The Long Gray Line: Sorry, nothing on DTDD or IMDB.
• Ballerina: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/1066389

CWs for The Long Gray Line:

• Smoking.
• Alcohol.
• Gun violence.
• Fistfighting.

CWs for Ballerina:

• Gaslighting.
• Child abuse.
• Drug use.
• Someone is drugged.
• Sexual assault: a r*pe motivates the main plot of the film, but the act itself is shown only as grainy footage and only for a few seconds..
• Someone is physically restrained.
• Discussion of sexual assault.
• Someone is burned alive.
• Unconsciousness.
• Broken bones.
• Tooth damage.
• Torture.
• Stabbing.
• Blood and gore.
• Human trafficking.
• Kidnapping.
• Natural bodies of water.
• Self-harm.
• Suicide attempt.
• Suicide.
• Underwater scenes.
• Jump scares.
• Shaky cam.
• Screaming.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Fat jokes.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Sex.
• BDSM.
• Gun violence.

Links to movies:

• The Long Gray Line: https://tankie.tube/w/n6o3XsvLMd6YQkz8qJMEND
• Ballerina: https://tankie.tube/w/qhD4hSNPPDvajcEh23bYPL

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Wednesday Super Slop Night, first up is White Collar Blues (1975), an Italian slapstick comedy constructed as a series of vignettes following a hapless accountant, Fantozzi, who finds himself in one outrageous situation after another, as life throws as many annoyances his way as possible, often focusing on the infuriating minutiae of an office-drone job within a faceless corporation. Reviews compare this to Office Space (1999), The Office (2005), and Dilbert, with some of Franz Kafka’s The Trial thrown in. This is considered a classic among Italians, at least, so let’s check it out. Director Luciano Salce also did this film’s various sequels, the first of which is almost as well-regarded as the original.

Next is Thunderbolts* (2025). Yes, it’s come to this: we’re watching a Marvel movie. Join Black Window substitute Yelena (Florence Pugh) as she overcomes her depression by assembling a band of second-string characters from other Marvel movies, who you may or may not remember. They fight bad guys. Reviews insist that this is an improvement over other recent Marvel slop, so fine, we’ll watch it. Director Jake Schreier is otherwise best-known for the streaming series Beef (2023) and the teen romance Paper Towns (2015).

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• White Collar Blues: https://letterboxd.com/film/fantozzi-white-collar-blues/
• Thunderbolts*: https://letterboxd.com/film/thunderbolts/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• White Collar Blues: Sorry, nothing on DTDD or IMDB.
• Thunderbolts*: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/563555

CWs for White Collar Blues:

• Slapstick violence.
• Alcohol.
• Smoking.
• Anxiety attacks.
• Unstable reality.
• Workplace abuse.

CWs for Thunderbolts*:

• Abusive parents.
• Child abuse.
• Domestic violence.
• Abused becomes the abuser.
• Gaslighting.
• Someone is beaten with a belt.
• Drug use.
• Drug addiction.
• Alcoholism.
• Slapping of woman.
• Someone is physically restrained.
• Someone’s mouth is covered.
• Hand damage.
• Someone struggles to breathe.
• Choking.
• Asphyxiation.
• Unconsciousness.
• Stabbing.
• Death of child.
• Suicide.
• Jump scares.
• Possession.
• Vomiting.
• Mental illness.
• Violent mentally-ill person.
• Dissociation.
• Suicide attempt.
• Meltdown.
• Misophonia.
• Anxiety attacks.
• Claustrophobia.
• PTSD.
• Sudden loud noises.
• Crying baby.
• Screaming.
• Profanity.
• Flashing lights.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Babies.
• Honking horns.
• Screeching tires.
• Car crash.
• Plane crash.
• Blood and gore.
• Gun violence.

Links to movies:

• White Collar Blues: https://tankie.tube/w/ktK1D5sU4qgLJTVujbH8uP
• Thunderbolts*: https://tankie.tube/w/jGaSVRTM1aouh6B9CLdboE

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Sunday Kino Night, first up is The Nun (1966), a French drama following the saga of a young 18th-century nun (Anna Karina) forced into the abbey life against her will, and her struggles with three Mothers Superior, one maternal, one abusive, and one a lesbian. God Damn the Catholic Church: The Movie. This is considered one of the best films of renowned French auteur Jacques Rivette, whose work we have never watched on the ‘tube. That changes tonight.

Next up is Metropolitan (1990), a satirical comedy that takes the piss of New York high-society youths, who congregate for a fancy party in a lavish apartment. However, a radical socialist student outsider pops into their midst, and he does not approve of their way of life. Hilarity ensues as this fish-out-of-water butts heads with the sheltered bourgeoisie. This is both the best-known and best-reviewed film of director Whit Stillman, who is otherwise best-known for the period piece The Last Days of Disco (1998). Great reviews for this one, so let’s check it out.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• The Nun: https://letterboxd.com/film/the-nun/
• Metropolitan: https://letterboxd.com/film/metropolitan/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• The Nun: Sorry, nothing on DTDD or IMDB.
• Metropolitan: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100142/parentalguide/

CWs for The Nun:

• Discussion of religion.
• Child abuse.
• Abusive parents.
• Misogyny.
• PTSD.
• Alcohol.

CWs for Metropolitan

• Rich people.
• Sexual innuendos.
• Reference to sexual assault. Not depicted.
• Partial nudity.
• Blood.
• A man is punched in the face.
• Profanity.
• Drug references.
• Smoking..
• Alcohol.

Links to movies:

• The Nun: https://tankie.tube/w/2HvE7R7fKQpj9TJN3DNT9p
• Metropolitan: https://tankie.tube/w/sjCiTcavRErbnjoZbcCqtf

Saturday Anime Night, 8PM EST: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (2021) eps. 37-38, Gainax’s Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise (1987), and Ferngully: The Last Rainforest (1992)! (CWs inside)

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this edition of Saturday Anime Night, we are finally fishing our multi-year Jojo odyssey with the last two episodes of Part 6, Stone Ocean. Yep, it’s over. I bet these last two eps will still have a lot of posing and punching, though.

After that is Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise (1987), Studio Gainax’s feature debut, and still one of their better-regarded works. In a quasi-steampunk dystopian future where the eponymous Kingdom of Honneamise and a neighboring republic are on the verge of war, a young man and astronaut candidate seeks to use the awe-inspiring wonder of space travel to stop the world from destroying itself. Will the kingdom’s space program succeed and bring the world together? I guess we’ll find out. This is Hiroyuki Yamaga’s only feature-film director credit, though he did also helm the legendary Daicon IV (1983) short and worked on Gurren Lagann (2007), as well.

Next is Ferngully: The Last Rainforest (1992), one of the better-known Disney knockoff cartoons of the 90s. A fairy shrinks a human boy down to her size to enlist his help against the greedy capitalists who want to destroy her forest to build some polluting buildings instead. Notable for Tim Curry’s performance as a sentient, singing blob of goo. Robin Williams voices a bat, too. This is director Bill Kroyer’s only feature-film credit; he is a one-hit wonder. Let’s check it out.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean: https://letterboxd.com/film/jojos-bizarre-adventure-stone-ocean/
• Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise: https://letterboxd.com/film/royal-space-force-the-wings-of-honneamise/
• Ferngully: The Last Rainforest: https://letterboxd.com/film/ferngully-the-last-rainforest/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/768593
• Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093207/parentalguide/
• Ferngully: The Last Rainforest: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/18887

CWs for Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean:

• Death of dog.
• Stalking.
• Gaslighting.
• Child abuse.
• Deaths of animals.
• Animal cruelty.
• Death of cat.
• Death of pet.
• Spiders.
• Bugs.
• Sexual assault: a creepy man gropes a teenage girl’s breasts.
• Implied pedophilia. Not depicted.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Self-harm.
• Cutting of flesh.
• Someone struggles to breathe.
• Amputation.
• Squashed head.
• Genital trauma.
• Broken bones.
• Tooth damage.
• Finger mutilation.
• Torture.
• Death of child.
• Death of parent.
• Kidnapping.
• Cheating.
• Ghosts.
• Shower scene.
• Possession.
• Trypophobia.
• Vomiting.
• Someone soils themselves.
• Audio gore.
• Hospital scene.
• Violent mentally-ill person.
• Suicide attempt.
• Misophonia.
• Suicidal ideation.
• Crying baby.
• Ableism.
• Someone is hit by a car.
• References to sex.
• Blood and gore.
• Gun violence.

CWs for Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise:

• Sexual assault: a man attempts to r*pe a woman, but she knocks him out. The scene lasts about fifteen seconds.
• Fistfighting.
• Child abuse.
• Explosions.
• Gun violence.
• Vomiting.
• Blood and gore.
• Stabbing.
• Profanity.
• Smoking.
• Alcohol.
• Gambling.
• Drunkenness.
• Catcalling.

CWs for Ferngully: The Last Rainforest:

• Cruelty to animals.
• Snakes.
• Bugs.
• Torture.
• Jump scares.
• Electrotherapy.
• Claustrophobia.
• Flashing lights.
• Fat jokes.

Links to movies:

• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 37: https://tankie.tube/w/jmvU8V5R9fixzt3ZPjiuP5
• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 38: https://tankie.tube/w/m1nhKznikW6mNGGEhPgzgP
• Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise: https://tankie.tube/w/rjq4r8t5svZZgiz5DJXM8v
• Ferngully: The Last Rainforest: https://tankie.tube/w/v1nWMZy3EgHhCwjnSHU2Fp

Friday Movie Night, 8PM EST: Danish 18th-century man-vs.-landlord epic The Promised Land (2023) and drag-queen road-trip comedy To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)! (CWs inside) IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Friday Movie Night, first up is The Promised Land (2023), an epic set in 18th-century Denmark and starring Mads Mikkelsen as a captain sent to conquer a fiefdom in the name of his king. He is opposed by the cartoonishly-evil local lord, who does everything in his power to resist the takeover. A bunch of battles and bloodshed follow from there. Director is Nikolaj Arcel, the guy behind the infamously bad Stephen King adaptation The Dark Tower (2017); he has apparently improved since then, since critics raved about this one. Reviews compare this to Rob Roy (1995), Braveheart (1995), and McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971). Let’s check it out.

After that is To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995), a road-trip comedy about three drag queens (Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo) who secure positions in a national drag competition in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, they’re on the other side of the country, and they have to rush to LA to get there on time. Hilarity ensues as the three encounter many odd characters and find themselves in strange situations. Director is Beeban Kidron, who is not known for much else except, uhh, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004). This is considered her magnum opus, and a classic of LGBT cinema.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• The Promised Land: https://letterboxd.com/film/the-promised-land-2023/
• To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar: https://letterboxd.com/film/to-wong-foo-thanks-for-everything-julie-newmar/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• The Promised Land: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/964465
• To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/20765

CWs for The Promised Land:

• Child abandonment.
• Stalking.
• Domestic violence.
• Abused becomes the abuser.
• Child abuse.
• Alcoholism.
• Death of horse.
• Cruelty to animals.
• Throat slitting.
• Animal corpses.
• Death of pet.
• Sad animal.
• Bugs.
• Slapping of woman.
• Someone is drugged.
• Discussion of sexual assault. Not depicted.
• Someone is physically restrained.
• Someone’s mouth is covered.
• Shaving.
• Cutting of flesh.
• Hand damage.
• Someone struggles to breathe.
• Choking.
• Someone is burned alive.
• Genital trauma.
• Unconsciousness.
• Broken bones.
• Torture.
• Death by falling.
• Stabbing.
• Blood and gore.
• Suicide.
• Kidnapping.
• Natural bodies of water.
• Spitting.
• Incarceration.
• Jump scares.
• Screaming.
• Profanity.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Discussion of religion.
• Nudity.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Incest.
• Sex.

CWs for To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar:

• Sexual assault: a cop gropes one of the main characters, but is knocked out for doing so.
• Child abandonment.
• Abusive parents.
• Stalking.
• Domestic violence.
• Gaslighting.
• Alcohol abuse.
• Slapping of woman.
• Mention of sexual assault.
• Bullying.
• Shaving.
• Genital trauma.
• Unconsciousness.
• Shower scene.
• Natural bodies of water.
• Razors.
• Mannequins.
• Deadnaming.
• Outing of LGBT person.
• Anxiety attacks.
• Screaming.
• Profanity.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Homophobia.
• Ableism.
• N-word.
• “Man in a dress” jokes.
• Misgendering.
• Fat jokes.
• Hate speech.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Sexual innuendos.
• Honking horns.

Links to movies:

• The Promised Land: https://tankie.tube/w/uZWanGA6g8GZm3oobbTzPE
• To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar: https://tankie.tube/w/fGHxV4WB4cYUk9zk8sCPDT

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Special Thursday Cinema Night, first up is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945), a melodrama based on Betty Smith’s novel of the same name. Set c. 1900, it follows a Brooklyn family’s journey through poverty as they navigate the vagaries of American capitalism and try to pull through. The father's an alcoholic, the aunt marries a bunch of crappy men, the daughter wants to go to private, and so on. Director is Elia Kazan, the guy behind such other social melodramas as East of Eden (1955) and A Face in the Crowd (1957), the latter of which we previously watched. This is considered one of the best Hollywood films of the 1940s, so let’s check it out.

After that is Shin Ultraman (2022), another updated take on a classic Japanese tokusatsu series, along the same lines as Shin Godzilla (2016) and Shin Kamen Rider (2023), both of which we previously watched. When giant monsters suddenly start attacking Japan, a task force tries to find a way to drive them off, until they suddenly come across a gigantic silver man who wrestles them to death. A whole bunch of silly fights and special effects follow from there. Director Shinji Higuchi previously co-directed the aforementioned Shin Godzilla with Hideaki Anno, and helmed the live-action Attack on Titan (2015) film, as well.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn: https://letterboxd.com/film/a-tree-grows-in-brooklyn/
• Shin Ultraman: https://letterboxd.com/film/shin-ultraman/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0038190/parentalguide/
• Shin Ultraman: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/970359

CWs for A Tree Grows in Brooklyn:

• Smoking.
• Poverty.
• Alcoholism.
• Death of parent.
• Childbirth.
• Babies.

CWs for Shin Ultraman:

• Death of animal.
• Cruelty to animals.
• Someone is physically restrained.
• Unconsciousness.
• Broken bones.
• Suicide.
• Kidnapping.
• Possession.
• Hospital scene.
• Flashing lights.
• Objectification of female characters.

Links to movies:

• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn: https://tankie.tube/w/p5vSriJCVKHWnz68SqAU5A
• Shin Ultraman: https://tankie.tube/w/8qZgCSaAnjKnSsj1RPsUR8

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Wednesday Super Slop Night, first up is Megalopolis (2024), Francis Ford Coppola’s recent, and already infamously-disastrous flop. Set in a far-flung future city, it features Adam Driver as an artist who wants to remake the eponymous megalopolis, New Rome, into utopia, but the mayor (Giancarlo Esposito) is a reactionary who stands in his way and defends his power by any means necessary. The war between the two escalates from there, in a fashion generally derided by critics but enjoyed by others as a piece of so-bad-it’s-good unintentional camp. I guess we’ll find out for themselves.

Next is A Better Tomorrow (1986), a crime-themed action-thriller from John Woo, the guy behind such well-regarded Hong Kong action films as The Killer (1989) and Hard Boiled (1992), both of which we previously watched. Two brothers, one a gangster and one a cop, find their relationship strained as they go further into their respective careers. A whole lot of gunfire and slow-mo shots ensue from there in Woo’s signature over-the-top style. Great reviews for this, so let’s check it out.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Megalopolis: https://letterboxd.com/film/megalopolis-2024/
• A Better Tomorrow: https://letterboxd.com/film/a-better-tomorrow/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Megalopolis: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/1111653
• A Better Tomorrow: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092263/parentalguide/

CWs for Megalopolis:

• Stalking.
• Drug use.
• Alcohol abuse.
• Drug addiction.
• Mention of sexual assault. Not depicted.
• Unconsciousness.
• Broken bones.
• Eye mutilation.
• Stabbing.
• Sexualization of minor.
• Cheating.
• Natural bodies of water.
• Clowns.
• Spitting.
• 9/11.
• Copaganda.
• Suicide attempt.
• Unstable reality.
• Meltdown.
• PTSD.
• Underwater scenes.
• Jump scares.
• Screaming.
• Profanity.
• Flashing lights.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Babies.
• Death of pregnant person.
• “Man in dress” jokes.
• Age-gap romance.
• Discussion of religion.
• Nudity.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Incest.
• Sex.
• Stroke.
• Homelessness.
• Discussion of existentialism.
• Car crash.
• Drowning.
• Blood and gore.
• Gun violence.

CWs for A Better Tomorrow:

• Kissing.
• Gun violence.
• Blood and gore.
• Leg injury.
• Torture.
• Beatings.
• Foot injury.
• Profanity.
• Smoking.
• Alcohol.
• Amputation.
• Death of parent.

Links to movies:

• Megalopolis: https://tankie.tube/w/tBNE75eCfyNUjM4Hk4trJn
• A Better Tomorrow: https://tankie.tube/w/qULj3Ypuu469VYMvQZw1ou

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Sunday Kino Night, first up is The Man Who Sleeps (1974), a French psychological drama about a young man slowly slipping into ever greater degrees of solitude and alienation as he withdraws from the world, seeking to become a perfect automaton with no emotions or human connections. This is considered one of the best French films of the 70s, and the only notable work of one-hit-wonder director Bernard Queysanne.

Next up is The Big Country (1958), an epic Western, starring Gregory Peck, about a land war between two rival frontier families, who threaten to destroy everything that they love rather than refuse to back down. Director is William Wyler, whose films The Children’s Hour (1961) and The Heiress (1949) we previously watched; he apparently intended this film to be read as a left-wing Cold War allegory, with the families standing in for the US and USSR. Sounds cool to me. This is considered one of the best Westerns of all time, so let’s give it a shot.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• The Man Who Sleeps: https://letterboxd.com/film/the-man-who-sleeps/
• The Big Country: https://letterboxd.com/film/the-big-country/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• The Man Who Sleeps: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0192718/parentalguide/
• The Big Country: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051411/parentalguide/

CWs for The Man Who Sleeps:

• Smoking.
• Alcohol.
• Mental illness.
• Paranoia.

CWs for The Big Country:

• Kissing.
• Implied sexual assault. Not depicted, since this is from the 1950s.
• Gun violence.
• Misogyny.
• Blood.
• Slapping of woman.
• Fistfighting.
• Profanity.
• Smoking.
• Alcohol.

Links to movies:

• The Man Who Sleeps: https://tankie.tube/w/sGXCkTXxZLLbr1R8jhjXSe
• The Big Country: https://tankie.tube/w/8Yuf97AnFkSu4KhMwPRiX5

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this edition of Saturday Anime Night, we’re returning to the much-beloved anime adaptation of Hirohiko Araki’s legendary manga, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, with episodes 31 through 36 of the sixth part, Stone Ocean. This one stars a lady, but she still does the usual poses and fights a bunch of muscley guys in ever-more-convoluted ways.

Next is Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003), the last cel-animated feature from Dreamworks. It bombed at the box office, but some people still swear by it, so we’ll check it out. It follows, in broad strokes, the tales of the hero of the same name, as recounted in the Arabian Nights. For some reason, though, he has been re-imagined as a Greek hero here, and battles against the goddess Eris retrieve a magic book that can save his friend. Director is Tim Johnson, the guy behind, uhh, Over the Hedge (2006) and Antz (1998).

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean: https://letterboxd.com/film/jojos-bizarre-adventure-stone-ocean/
• Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas: https://letterboxd.com/film/sinbad-legend-of-the-seven-seas/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/768593
• Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/18887

CWs for Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean:

• Death of dog.
• Stalking.
• Gaslighting.
• Child abuse.
• Deaths of animals.
• Animal cruelty.
• Death of cat.
• Death of pet.
• Spiders.
• Bugs.
• Sexual assault: a creepy man gropes a teenage girl’s breasts.
• Implied pedophilia. Not depicted.
• Objectification of female characters.
• Self-harm.
• Cutting of flesh.
• Someone struggles to breathe.
• Amputation.
• Squashed head.
• Genital trauma.
• Broken bones.
• Tooth damage.
• Finger mutilation.
• Torture.
• Death of child.
• Death of parent.
• Kidnapping.
• Cheating.
• Ghosts.
• Shower scene.
• Possession.
• Trypophobia.
• Vomiting.
• Someone soils themselves.
• Audio gore.
• Hospital scene.
• Violent mentally-ill person.
• Suicide attempt.
• Misophonia.
• Suicidal ideation.
• Crying baby.
• Ableism.
• Someone is hit by a car.
• References to sex.
• Blood and gore.
• Gun violence.

CWs for Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas:

• Sexual innuendos.
• Kissing.
• Stabbing.
• Slapstick violence.
• Possession.
• Vomiting.
• Ghosts.
• Cheating.

Links to movies:

• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 31: https://tankie.tube/w/beeW3JC1h7UnPNMPjxwFMj
• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 32: https://tankie.tube/w/pephgVAbcjVMAU3xoA7r1p
• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 33: https://tankie.tube/w/oaDRDxsntGxvFbU4fwdSjY
• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 34: https://tankie.tube/w/ajjXdAJszmRhMhFCxme17q
• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 35: https://tankie.tube/w/9waq22UD75wywWBZQ5WYpH
• Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean ep. 36: https://tankie.tube/w/sgAVphFsHExpDhY8CSAzeH
• Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas: https://tankie.tube/w/ppBNEV1quZAf5UjLXge2wD

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Friday Movie Night, first up is Tokyo Twilight (1957), one of the most acclaimed films from one of Japan’s most renowned filmmakers Yasujiro Ozu. We watched his Early Summer (1951) last Sunday, and we’re going back in for more. Two sisters reconnect with their birth mother, who abandoned them as children. One sister is willing to let bygones be bygones, but the other holds a grudge. Drama ensues. This is considered one of the best Japanese films of all time, so let’s give it a whirl.

After that is A New Leaf (1971), a screwball comedy from Elaine May, whose Mikey & Nicky (1976) and The Heartbreak Kid (1972) we previously watched. Along with those, this is one of the few mainstream 1970s Hollywood films directed by a woman. Walter Matthau stars as a sadistic formerly-rich man who decides to become rich again by pursuing, murdering, and marrying a wealthy nerdy lady, played by Elaine May herself. All sorts of comic antics follow from there. Will real romance bloom from this outrageous scenario? I guess we’ll see. Excellent reviews for this, so we’ll watch it.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Tokyo Twilight: https://letterboxd.com/film/tokyo-twilight/
• A New Leaf: https://letterboxd.com/film/a-new-leaf/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Tokyo Twilight: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/836719
• A New Leaf: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067482/parentalguide/

CWs for Tokyo Twilight:

• Child abandonment.
• PTSD.
• Depression.
• Discussion of abortion.
• Smoking.
• Alcohol.

CWs for A New Leaf:

• Sexual assault: a man attempts to remove a woman’s top without her consent. This movie is rated G, so it doesn’t go very far.
• Knee injury.
• Alcohol.
• Smoking.
• Blood.

Links to movies:

• Tokyo Twilight: https://tankie.tube/w/ndYjkg5ZUfGu4vhYazFaY6
• A New Leaf: https://tankie.tube/w/rPviL8Hdv8DFqFdMXtHnKF

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Special Thursday Cinema Night, first up is Heart of a Dog (1988), a Soviet satire about a dog transformed into a man by a mad scientist during the Russian Revolution, and his subsequent struggles to fit into human culture during a time of radical change. It is the best-known and best-regarded work of director Vladimir Bortko, who is not known for much otherwise. Great reviews for this everywhere, so let’s check it out.

After that is Fat City (1972), a boxing drama about two rival fighters (Stay Keach and Jeff Bridges), one of whom is at the top, and the other who has site rock bottom. Uh-oh, though, they start to switch places as their careers’ momentums shift. Enter the usual problems of prize fighters, such as reckless money spending, substance abuse, and dysfunctional romances. Director is John Huston, the old Hollywood veteran known for The Maltese Falcon (1941), The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948), and Key Largo (1948), among others; surprisingly, we have never watched any of his work. That changes tonight, as this is supposed to be one of his better films.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.bot.nu/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Heart of a Dog: https://letterboxd.com/film/heart-of-a-dog/
• Fat City: https://letterboxd.com/film/fat-city/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Heart of a Dog: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096126/parentalguide/
• Fat City: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068575/parentalguide/

CWs for Heart of a Dog:

• Reference to sexual assault. Not depicted.
• Cruelty to animals.
• Strangulation.
• Profanity.
• Alcohol.
• Smoking.

CWs for Fat City:

• Nudity.
• Discussion of sex.
• Reference to sexual assault. Not depicted.
• Blood.
• Fistfighting.
• Head injuries.
• Broken bones.
• Profanity.
• Alcohol.
• Smoking.
• Domestic violence.

Links to movies:

• Heart of a Dog: https://tankie.tube/w/nyM4xCWSxFxUsKGzx5cuMh
• Fat City: https://tankie.tube/w/cRSQNocV7EjUATD3RoBtX1

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Blorptube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

For this Wednesday Super Slop Night, first up is Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In, a Hong Kong action movie about a martial artist in the 1980s who finds himself trapped in the Kowloon Walled City after attracting the ire of the local triads. Now, he has to punch and kick his way to freedom through a whole army of bad guys. Director is Soi Cheeng, who is otherwise best-known for the cop thriller Limbo (2021), which we have not yet watched. Nice reviews for this one, so let’s check it out.

Next is Mamma Mia! (2008), the blockbuster rom-com that became, at the time, the highest-grossing film ever at the British box office. Okay, fine, we’ll watch it. Amanda Seyfried stars as a bride seeking out her real father in time for her wedding; she invited all the ex-boyfriends of her mother (Meryl Streep) to the Greek island where she lives, and hilarity ensues from there. Oh, and the movie has a bunch of ABBA songs. Director Phyllida Lloyd is not known for much of anything else; she is a one-hit wonder.

We’ll start at 8PM EST on Blorptube, right here:

https://blorp.zapto.org/o/visual_cuisine

Be there, comrades!

Letterboxd:

• Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In: https://letterboxd.com/film/twilight-of-the-warriors-walled-in/
• Mamma Mia!: https://letterboxd.com/film/mamma-mia/

Doesthedogdie.com links:

• Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt20316748/parentalguide/
• Mamma Mia!: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/10461

CWs for Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In:

• Prostitution.
• Fistfighting.
• Beatings.
• Blood and gore.
• Nudity.
• Finger mutilation.
• Throat slitting.
• Cutting of flesh.
• Alcohol.
• Smoking.

CWs for Mamma Mia!:

• Someone is physically restrained.
• Shaving.
• Cheating.
• Natural bodies of water.
• Razors.
• Anxiety attacks.
• Claustrophobia.
• Screaming.
• Flashing lights.
• Someone is watched without their knowledge.
• Broken fourth wall.
• Age-gap romance.
• Nudity.
• Kissing.

Links to movies:

• Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In: https://tankie.tube/w/87ZfSw2T7hRxsUPRoftkh5
• Mamma Mia!: https://tankie.tube/w/hFogYgTVwkWe4PkeYzmoTg