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Posts That Get Better Each Year (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by other_cat@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
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It's Fine, Don't Worry About It (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by other_cat@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
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Wahoo (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 
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Who ever could it be? (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 
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Silence (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 
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I like trains (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 

Alt text
this reminds me of a joke.
so theres this bulgarian guy right? loves trains, has
loved trains since he was a kid. one day, the
bulgarian railroad association hires him to be the
driver of one of their trains.
he is ECSTATIC! our train boy is so excited, in fact,
that on his first day driving, he... derails the train
and kills one person.
this, of course, gets him the death penalty.
(bulgarian law is weird.) as he's sitting in the
electric chair, the executor asks him what he
wants for his last meal.
"One banana."
the executor finds this odd, but gives him his
banana, and when he finishes, the executor straps
him in.
she pulls the switch, and....
nothing. the guy lives, and is let free. bulgarian law
is, as stated previously, pretty weird, and if
someone survives the electric chair it is deemed
and Act of God and the criminal is set free.
considering the bulgarian railroad association is
desperate for employees, our guy is hired once
again, and is driving the next day. as you can
probably assume, he is exceedingly nervous, and
due to this.... he crashes the train again. this time,
two people die.
hes sent back to the execution chamber, as
obviously, killing two people requires the death
penalty as well. the executor scratches her head,
scoffs, and says, "Well, uh... welcome back? What
do you want for your actual last meal?"
"Two bananas."
she sighs, and gives him his bananas. he eats
them, is strapped in, and the executor pulls the
switch to-
-nothing. the chair buzzes, but the man is fine.
once again, he is let free, and once again, hes
back on the train the next day.
now he is REALLY careful. like, incredibly careful.
whenever the train is stopped, he reads the
handbook. never gets distracted, takes extra
coffee... he's really doing his best.
well, that is until he sneezes, knocks over his
scalding hot coffee onto his foot, and crashes the
train again, kilking THREE people this time.
off he goes to the executioner, and she is a little
more than peeved. she sits him down, and says
sternly, "l swear to God, if you ask for three
bananas, I will strap you in without your meal."
without hesitation- "Three bananas."
the executioner roars in anger, straps the man in,
and slams the switch down, finally ready to finish
this weirdo off.
...nothing. once again, the chair activates, but the
man is fine.
this, of course, just confuses her. she fumbles
over her words, asking the man why he didn't die if
he didn't have his bananas. it just didnt make
sense!
the man replied, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to
do with it. I'm just an awful conductor."

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It's quick, it's easy and it's free (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 1 month ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 
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Okay, so there are a few things about this that made me go "huh?"

First - how did I not know about "The Super Dictionary" until today?

Second - ice breath, talking to squirrels and.... curling her tongue?

Third - "missiles coming out of every possible orifice". Well okay then.

Four - seriously. Satan is doing what???

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Kittie cat (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 

Alt text
Post:"I had a cat that used to sleep with me, and once she had given birth to 4 kittens , she brought them to me at night to bed , so I got scared to smash them by accident and went to sleep downstairs in the living room, after 10 mins she comes to sleep with me, then goes upstairs and bring her kittens one by one .... can we call that trust?"

Reply:"how can ppl say cats are heartless tbh"

Reply:"I once stayed at a game reserve in South Africa, and they had three cheetahs — two males and one female. The boys stuck together (they were brothers), but female cheetahs are solitary, save for when they are raising cubs. Which is hard work for cheetahs, because they don't/can't den, she’s working constantly to protect/move her cubs, as well as feeding both them and herself Now, these cheetahs ARE in a private reserve, but they're still essentially wild But they are more or less accustomed to the presence of people. And this cheetah, Ketswirl, got very badly injured in her leg one time, which usually would be fatal to a cheetah. The staff at the reserve helped her. Another time, she was starving, and they provided her a fresh antelope carcass. And she remembered this, because the science officer was telling us how one time he was watching Ketswirl and her cubs, and she wandered over and dumped all her cubs at his feet, and walked off. Like 'watch my kids, I need some me time.' And he was panicking like COME BACK I CAN'T BABYSIT YOUR KIDS WTF"

Reply:"And this, children, is how cats literally domesticated themselves."

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Beautiful flowers (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 2 months ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
 
 
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Nah this man's friend got straight up DOMED with the dodgeball by Apollo, he did not throw it nicely 😭😭

EDIT: Since some people seem to be confused: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/apollos-gift-of-prophecy-dodgeball

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TERF: *literally talk about men/AMABs the literal exact same way a 4chan racist nazi talks about black people*

TERF, 2 minutes later: "guys can you please not be racist :("

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