Usually, when various Christian denominations call some writings (which other denominations consider canonical) apocryphal, they at least recognise that those writings are roughly as old as the canonical writings and the subject matter concerns the same topics (i.e. accounts on lives of Biblical figures, and doctrinal material). Just that they don't agree it's valid teaching or doctrine. Apocryphal, as said.

I mean, American Evangelicals wouldn't just randomly slap demonstrably modern material that is explicitly not religious doctrine, not even worded as such, in the book and call it Biblical canon, right? ...right? ...that'd be patently stupid, right? ...nobody would do that? ...people would have at least some problem with that?

(Me, I'm not American, and an ex-Christian. I actually liked the Deck of Cards better. These days, I just do the same thing with Tarot deck I guess. ...confuse myself endlessly with esoteric imagery.)