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this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
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I feel the same about aerosmith. When I actually read the lyrics to most of Aerosmiths songs, it became a question of how the fuck is Steven Tyler not in prison. Half their songs are about how much they want to have sex with minors.
Blues Traveler answered your question with a whole song back in the 90s:
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job, it's your resolve that breaks
Because the hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in, if you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win and then begin to see
What you're doing to me, this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me, so desperately I sing to thee of love
Sure, but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried, well, no, in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide, but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide, I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found I will not mess around unless I play then hey
I will go on all day, hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray that's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because
The hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook
On that you can rely
TL:DR dude went on a 3.5 minute rant about how no one listens to the lyrics, hit the top 10 in the US with said song, and was totally correct that no one would know what the song was even about.
I contend the only reason that song hit top 10 was because that Rin Tin Tin line. Everyone is a sucker for a good dog story.