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this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2024
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This really focuses on the darkest possible aspects of people. I think I finally get why I'm not offended by the same things folks like you are.
I hear someone use a word like this, and I think "they are using an obvious example they saw, and applying it here in a deliberately facetious manner". You hear the same word, and you think "that person is deliberately denegrating an entire group of people."
You're not going to like my saying so, but neither approach is always right or wrong here. There are people that absolutely are doing what you think they are. What your stance doesn't seem to accept, however, is that others are not.
You can live your life any way you wish, but I think people who think this way may want to take a step back, and maybe put their swords down. White Knights don't always do well in a grey world.
Intent doesn't really matter if the entire butt of the joke is that this person is asking like a "lesser" group.
Even if intent did matter... How would a passive observer be able to tell if the person meant it or not? You really can't without knowing both parties involved, their history together, and if that person regularly does similar styles of joke.
It's easier to just pick a different word to insult someone's intelligence instead of one that's designed to hurt a specific group of people.
When someone uses this word in the pejorative out of an abundance of ignorance, and they are met with a response that is equal to that of someone saying it deliberately to denigrate all mentally challenged individuals, well, then we have a problem. I would argue that intent very much matters here in this situation, and I'll tell you why...
When any of us treats another human being as the sum of our own fears (collective or personal) for the words they have selected, then we project something far worse than reality on that individual. By doing so, we risk weaponizing political correctness into a tribal position. What I mean by this is that you radicalize someone, rather than educate them. They become offended, rather than enlightened.
In today's society, one's chastisement in this manner could literally push someone on the fence into voting for someone like Donald Trump. This is because there's a serious counter-culture push going on in response to campaigns like this one. You don't have to like what I'm saying, but I do implore everyone to understand this reality.
It's better to tolerate words like this one to a degree, and to do good where and when you can. It is a moderate approach to a society that is becoming ever-more polarized and radicalized. If we can't start here, then I'm not sure where we can start. We need to treat people with more compassion - we need to accept that intent is very important, and we need to a give people the benefit of the doubt (to a degree, of course).
There are two types of people that use slurs to talk about other folk.
The first group is made up of folk who don't give a fuck if they're hurting others.
The second group is made up of folk who don't realise the slur is a slur or don't understand why the slur is harmful.
The second group appreciates being informed about the consequences of their words so they can change course.
People in the first group that are pretending they're in the second group get angry when called out. But they were always the first group.