16
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
16 points (100.0% liked)
polyamory
164 readers
7 users here now
Polyamory community! Welcome! 
No explicit discussion of sexual actions or NSFW pictures are permitted
founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
I mean if you're dating multiple people and it's above board and they all know about it and consent to it...congrats you're polyam by pretty much every definition I know even if you don't use the label! I would agree that the community vibes can be weird but that's true of every community I've ever been in for anything.
It's a difference between doing a thing and forming a worldview or ideology around it. Like I don't think of hellenic greek homosexual men as gay in the same way I think of myself. Like the thing they were doing was the same but the cultural frame is very different.
There's a trust and safety issue, too.
If someone's at an event because they're Brad's friend or Jenny's girlfriend or Tom's sister then they've got a name, a face, and a reputation. If someone's with Tom, they're with Tom and we're going to Tom's Thing with Tom's Freinds at Tom's Place. There's details. "The whatever community" makes me think of events where there's paid wrist bands, a paid bar, and no guest list, or events where no one is quite sure who is running things, or "hey let's split hte cost of rooms with these guys I met from out of town they seem cool".
I don't trust lifestylists because a lot of them seem like they're in it for the lifestyle, not the people. I've observed a substantial number of lifestylists will sacrifice people to protect the lifestyle. Not with polyamory, but with any lifestylist thing; hobbies, whatever. i dunno. Lots of bad experiences. Lots of stray dogs and ronin out there.