The Russians actually invented time travel and went back in time to create the US, just so that the Soviet Union would have an interesting enemy to fight, populating it with secret Russians. It's all Russians all the way down. I'm a Russian, you're a Russian, Biden is a Russian, Macron is a Russian, even the dinosaurs that got wiped out by the meteor was a Russian and the meteor was a Russian troll farm. Also, human existence was a Russian plot to make being Russian a thing.

The sad thing is, no matter how absurd I go with this, I still feel like it doesn't pass muster with Poe's law.