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submitted 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) by roux@hexbear.net to c/vegan@hexbear.net

I already bitched about this in the vegan theory club cooking discord bub I'm still bent the fuck out of shape over it.

Ok, so my kid's birthday party was yesterday and the last 2 times I wasn't able to eat the cake because it was made with extra helping of animals. I just sat their on my phone and took a few pictures or whatever. I helped with set up and tear down.

We are also going broke because I'm too fucking stupid to hold down a job and after over a year and a half of trying to find a job, we are at the point where I am considering getting rid of the rest of our streaming services and pull our youngest out of daycare. We are barely surviving on a teacher's salary right now.

In the past, my partner has gone all out on our kids' parties but I was working so it was fine. This time, I wanted to try to save money where we could. In the past, my partner would get a cake from a local bakery that costs like $80 and only 1/4 would get eaten and I'd throw the rest away 2 months later because it got forgotten in the back of our garage fridge.

So this year I wanted to kill 2 vegan birds with one stone and make my kid's birthday cake. I could make it for way cheaper and also sub in vegan ingredients.

I buy all the ingredients and plan on making it Saturday. My mother-in-law decides to offer to make a cake for my kid after finding out we aren't spending $80 on a cake. I already bought the ingredients so I politely say no thanks. Because I am saving money, not wasting it. And because I wanted to enjoy cake at my kid's birthday party.

I got up early yesterday, put my earbuds in and threw on some baking metal. To be fair it was a box cake mix and the frosting was also pre-made. I was gonna do this as a test run before autistic hyper-focus takes over and I proceed to deep dive into making the perfect vegan cake. So I mix it up and bake it and do the toothpick test and it comes out clean. I wait for it to cool and frost it and it's good. Life is good. We good.

Well, It was on the softer side of done. My mother-in-law goes to cut the cake and it crumbles. She then proceeds, in front of like 15 people, to tell me that my cake sucks and I should have just let her make it because it wouldn't suck. In front of me, my partner, our kids, our friends, etc. So that's great.

I spiral, because I do that. and I'm still processing it. She seemed like she wanted to go out of her way to make a deal about it because she knows I'm vegan and likes to call it weird or whatever when she can.

I know this is all over a stupid cake but she really could have just laughed it off when it was falling apart instead of slopping it on to everyone's plate like she was a lunchlady in the 6th circle of hell or something.

That's it. That's my rant. I'm mostly just hoping that I could get it off my chest and move on.

I am always looking for recipes so if anyone has a good cake recipe that can adapt to flavors like vanilla or chocolate and such, I'm definitely interested. A tiny caveat is that the cake mix and frosting used palm oil and I'm really trying to avoid that because of how palm farming wrecked the environment.

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[-] un_mask_me@hexbear.net 6 points 13 hours ago

That sucks, and I'm sorry that happened. I have a vegan muffin recipe that basically tastes like a cupcake because of the sugar content (these are not healthy) and if you leave out the chocolate chips it's basically cake batter. The site has a ton of other dessert recipes too.

Here's the recipe I've used.

[-] roux@hexbear.net 3 points 11 hours ago

Gonna save this recipe and keep it in mind when I get back to making sucky vegan cake. Thanks. Converting to cake shouldn't be too hard. I'm more of a cook than a baker though so it might turn into a disaster.

[-] un_mask_me@hexbear.net 2 points 10 hours ago

Hopefully the lingering toxicity will leave like a fart in the wind, and you can find the peace to bake and move at your own pace.

[-] roux@hexbear.net 2 points 10 hours ago

I think it's gonna be the topic at my next therapy session. Between that and her telling my I'm chronically depressed just because I want to be is putting me just about at my limit.

[-] un_mask_me@hexbear.net 2 points 7 hours ago

I am fully endorsing the no contact like the other commenter. Wtf. That's going out of the way to be cruel. You deserve better than that.

[-] roux@hexbear.net 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

It's funny and this might be overshare/off topic for this post but I'm also super late diagnosed autistic so I wonder if I would have even realized what she was doing was out of line like 2 years ago.

She claims to be Christ-like but won't even meet family members where they are at. I'm starting to think when we were cooking for the homeless, that she must have felt like it was a chore instead of helping those that didn't have food.

[-] un_mask_me@hexbear.net 2 points 5 hours ago

I would say trust your gut on that, being ND can open us up to all kinds of gross NT behavior. Hope you have a better week comrade!

this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2024
31 points (97.0% liked)

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