spoiler
I don't know to proceed in order to build social bonds. My whole concept of friendship was based around being a depressed guy.
I think that's going to be one of your biggest barriers to connecting with people. (Add an implied "...with mindful opsec" to everything below)
There aren't many times where people just reach out to say hi without some sort of connection. It doesn't have to be you previously starting a conversation or being a familiar presence in a social space, just something to indicate the two of you could carry a conversation. It could be something you're currently doing/working on, something you like, or maybe something you want to do in the future. You can signal that from posting, responding to others about things you mutually like, or just your pfp. I don't know how much you do this outside of hex, but I skimmed your comments before writing this and, aside from general support, I didn't really know what I would start a conversation with you about. You've talked a bit about going to college at an older age than the average student and you've mentioned being out in nature a few times, so I guess you like that too. Partial skill issue on my part, I'm not really a nature person lol, but with college you mostly just vent about anxieties. The rest of your posting is also mostly venting.
I'm not trying to be rude or saying tell us everything, but in a space like this or even a trans discord/matrix server most people aren't just going to dm you one day out of an implicit social duty. The community aspect of trans communities is powered by mutual interests. The friendships that seem to whither the quickest are the ones based solely on just being trans together. I can also personally say that my friendships based on just being sad together haven't lasted much longer. You don't have to be the one to reach out first to make friends (though it helps), but you do need to give someone a reason to reach out in the first place. You might eventually get that from venting, but I don't think it's going to the lasting friendship you're looking for. People are mindful of their capacity to give support and listen, they only have so much to offer. A connection started over one-sided venting is intimidating to a lot of people and that's not a reflection of them being shitty, it's just beyond what they're able to provide. Friendships work best when two people both bring something to them, which can be as simple as "friend who also enjoys thing that I love talking about" - that means the world to many people lol.
tl;dr - I don't think you're just [depressed person]. You're so much more than that, and that's something I didn't need to read your posts to know. It's not easy to suddenly believe the other parts of you are worth sharing too, but I think that's going to stand in the way of friendship more than anything. I really hope this wasn't preachy, but feeling confused about social stuff feels so isolating and you saying you deserved it couldn't be further from the truth. 
(cw: dysphoria, surgery regret, self harm/suicidal ideation) - I want my last post to be about where I've been, who I am, and what haunts me
It's been 825 days since surgery. After saying no and being convinced I was just nervous in the morning and crying on the way to the operating room, I had vaginoplasty. I told the anesthesiologist to let me be the one to say go, but I don't remember doing that. Everyone was so happy for me when I did it. I was weak and tired, I could barely stay awake and all I knew was I didn't want to look at what I had even when they offered. I told them I would wait until the final day they take everything out. I didn't know what to feel, but everyone was happy for me in the room, so I accepted the kindness. I haven't been surrounded by support like that in person before.I spent the next three months recovering, that's all my day was. I didn't have time to think about things. It was nice to know I didn't have to tuck anymore, but it was because I didn't have to tuck away my being a trans person anymore. I could deflect being trans now. When I go back to day to day life, the weird feelings came back. It took about a month and a half for me to find the words and ask myself "was this wrong?" Bit late for that, so I debated it with myself. After two months it became unbearable and I was understanding things weren't right. I knew I hated the v*gina on me, but I didn't understand why - it looked good, after all. It took a trip to the ER for the panic attacks and trouble breathing for me to start a path of healing my deep transphobia and hatred. I had to tell three cis men I was trans to even explain what was going on in my life. I braced myself, but it was fine. They were nice. I posted about this on @artificialset@hexbear.net and decided to be open about being trans on there. It was the first time I did that on main here. People were nice again. My shame was withering. I spent the next month coming out everywhere, even starting a new job and being open about being trans. I made new trans friends and was open with them, joined servers, posted along in the comms/subreddits. When I finally looked back, I didn't even recognize the girl who denied herself and forced a surgery to remove the transness.
I spent most of 2023 fighting with friends, a therapist, a partner, medical professionals to listen to me and accept that I made a mistake. There were people who made it very hard for me and I let myself spend too much time trying to appeal to them. In the same way that they ignored the warning signs before surgery, they ignored my saying no, they denied my revelations once again. They're not in my life anymore, but still, it took a lot of stamina to fight for myself all year - on top of dealing with the PTSD surgery left me with. I was tired.
2024 has been spent forming new friendships, finding a supportive therapist, and inadvertently meeting a partner too. There were really good things that happened this year, but all of them in the shadow of dysphoria. The horror of not just having a misaligned body, but a body that was once exactly what I wanted and then misaligned. I fought all year to get a surgeon to say yes to helping me, he finally said we can move onto scheduling, then he called me a few days later and said he changed his mind. He told me he would contact me in a few weeks after talking to people and seeing what options he could find, but it's been a month and the silence continues. I'm left with being unsure of how to proceed and exhausted. More than anything, I'm heartbroken at the thought of finding relief.
I hate this thing on me. The labias, I fucking hate them. They are remnants of my scrotum in a state that may not even able to be re-configured to be a scrotum again. The canal is so horrifying to me. I douche every day to make sure a biome doesn't form down there. I hate it so much and I'm scared to check if it's mostly closed at this point. No one will surgically close it for me, so I just try not to think about it and hope that it's mostly gone now. It's also so messy to pee now. I have to clean the v*gina everyday and try my best to not think about it when I do. Fuck the clitoris, taken from the most sensitive parts from my dick and used in a way that will never be able to be reconfigured into what is was. It can be buried in a phallus one day for hopeful sensation in one area, but it will never fill the phallus like it once did. I hate every piece of this thing on me. It horrifies me and ruined my life. I've started feeling the urge to self harm it recently. I want it to hurt, I don't want it to be on me and no one will take it off of me despite how much pain I'm in. I know it won't do anything and only get in the way of a successful phalloplasty, so harming it will never happen, but I just hate it so much.
I really feel alone so often. I have incredible people in my life, but it doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm on an island with these feelings. I want them to go away. I want to go away. If there's even a 1% chance I can die without having a v*gina on my body, I'll continue. For now it's still above 1%, so life continues.
Sorry there's not anything more, that's it for now.