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I apparently got shadow banned almost a year ago from blahaj, for a comment I made on lemmy.world
(lemmy.sdf.org)
For the record I was posting in support of inclusive language, but pointing out that context and convention matter.
They seem to have even scrubbed my comment from their instance, lol.
Depending on what you were replying to, I could see how that is transphobic. Like if you were replying to someone saying they don't like to be called dude and you end the post with "get over it, dude!"?
You said it yourself. Context matters.
For what it's worth, I've met trans women who dislike the term dude. It might be more common than you think.
Also, after thinking on this more, I feel more confident it has to do with the hypothetical "if you're offended [by me calling you dude], get over it dude" as doubling down on using a term someone doesn't want you to as soon as they've told you not to.
modding based on vibes
It usually is. If you don't get paid, a bit of arbitrary power is kind of expected.