Hello users of Hexbear, there have been many changes and some drama the past few months.
The recent changes we've been making have been an attempt to create a more safe and welcoming environment for many demographics that have been overlooked in the past.
For any of our comrades that have been unintentionally hurt in this process, we apologise and hope to find a solution that accommodates as many people as possible while still meeting the needs of the marginalised groups who need a space like this the most.
The intent of this post is to provide a space for all users to air grievances with regard to the site. As well as provide suggestions for specific things that could be changed to address your grievance. Comments insulting the mod team or those without a specific means to address your problem may be removed. No commenter will be sitebanned, unless it clearly breaks the code of conduct.
I have a lot to say about frauddogg, but I'll say these:
Frauddogg has done innumerable harm to the POC here because through Frauddogg's lack of disclosure as a vet, arrogant attitude, and disgraceful exit, nobody is going to take what Frauddogg said seriously. Whatever potential for self-growth that could've happened with respect to unexamined white privilege among some users has been lost because they'll just mentally say, "Lol, fuck you, I don't have to take this shit from a baby butcher. How about you selfcrit for invading a sovereign country instead of getting on my case for being racist?"
The circumstances of Frauddogg's exit had also planted a seed in many people's heads, which is that the anger isn't actually genuine or coming from having to live as a member of a marginalized community, but due to some personal inadequacies or grievances instead. For Frauddogg's case, it would be being a former member of one of the most anti-POC organizations in world history.
Frauddogg, despite the baggage of being a US soldier and messaging that rubbed some people the wrong way, was more right than wrong when it came to how weird Hexbear is towards POC. There's are some things I didn't agree with, but the broad message is largely true.
There are plenty of POC who are as angry and confrontational as Frauddogg was but unlike Frauddogg, lack the baggage of being a US soldier. They are as angry as Frauddogg was, but they do not have the same baggage as Frauddogg.
However, if those POC somehow make it here, the seed that Frauddogg planted in many people's heads would've bared fruit. And the fruit is "oh, you're just angry because you're overcompensating for having skeletons in your closet. You're angry because you are a vet/grew up with white people and are overcompensating because you are insecure about your racial identity/are biracial who's raised by the white side of your family/blah blah blah. Your anger is not coming from a genuine place, so we shouldn't have to respect your anger nor interrogate why you feel so angry because your anger is a personal problem, not a symptom of a systemic issue."
I think this will have further repercussions that I haven't foreseen yet. I've seen some people claim that Frauddogg was a wrecker and other people insist that Frauddogg actually quit because of how unwelcoming Hexbear is towards POC and not because of the disclosure. This is not good for the site at all.
I don't know how to properly communicate my anguish over the idea that what I said came across this way. I am very, very, very sorry.
I know frauddogg's anger came from a genuine place
I respected null's anger and reacted to it with curiosity (because I knew it meant there were things I didn't understand!) and caution (because childhood abuse left me afraid of confrontation, and being flamed – rightfully or not – by a popular poster that everyone agrees with, especially for reasons I do not understand and would get flamed even more for asking about, would have devastating mental health consequences).
my personal opinion is that persistent deep anger is both a personal problem and a systemic issue, regardless of its root cause:
frauddogg had mentioned childhood abuse, beatings by racists, and had been tricked as a child to sign up for even more systemic abuse – fucking of course null was angry. who isn't angry reading about it?!?
I celebrated null's anger in the lemmygrad masking struggle session that brought void to Hexbear.
I am every bit as scared of getting yelled at by you or kristina or Nakoichi or Awoo or Dirt_Owl or Galaxy_Brain or literally any of you as I was scared of getting yelled at by frauddogg. I hate confrontation and I hate hurting or upsetting people who don't deserve it. none of you deserve it.
I'm sorry.
I could totally be reading this wrong but I feel I have to point it out.
It feels very weird to me that you are saying that you are afraid of being yelled at by POC on this site and named them specifically "because you hate confrontation". Ive never seen Awoo or AssortedBiscuits hand anyone's asses to themselves here even if they deserved it. Again I could totally me misinterpreting this but I might not be the only one and could be good to reread it and see why it might make people feel offput.
Edit to add: I know you're autistic, me too. This is less a thing to make you feel bad and just an observation, meant to be helpful
idk if you're referencing my comment but i wasn't viewing it so black and white. i think i was trying to express that there were multiple factors that lead to frauddogg leaving including nulls disclosure and site issues. and some presumably white users focus on the first was making me feel like they were now disregarding the latter.
i agree with what you wrote, i just get anxious about being misinterpreted sry