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Moderator Guidelines
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Sorry for asking but how can one be non-binary and trans at the same time?
Fine to ask! I personally conceptualize it like squares and rectangles? Like first and foremost I consider myself trans. My desired gender expression does not align with my gender assigned at birth. However, it is also not exactly opposite the gender I was assigned. So I’m on HRT, I’m considering various surgeries and such, but I still land, present, in a way that does not fit the gender binary. Hope that helps. This is also something I’m still perfecting my language and explanation around, so feel free to chime in with your own thoughts. Like I know some people consider non-binary an umbrella term that trans exists within. Not sure I quite think of it like that, but yeah. It’s an interesting discussion I’m happy to hear thoughts on.
Since it's ok to ask (I hope), and I guess this is more of a general question rather than personal, but does the order of listed pronouns matter? Is it, like, in order of preference? Mostly I see the second pronoun to just be the objective case form of the first, but yours isn't. Why do people even list the objective case when it matches the subjective case?
Yes! Good question! If I wanted to be thorough I would write they/them and/or she/her (and/or looking like a set of pronouns has me chuckling). And for me that roughly corresponds to order of preference. Though it’s somewhat situational. Like at work I mostly just stick to they/them. I work with kids, and I worry about bigot parents seeing someone that presents the way I do (mostly gender neutral/androgynous at work) using she/her. In other settings, with my partners, chosen family, and general queer community I’m comfortable with she/her, prefer it even. Stuff like that. Basically using she/her for me is invite only, and y’all are invited.
Thank you for taking your time to explain. I get nervous when asking such things.
As far as I'm aware, it's the opposite, I think this image illustrates it very well:
Yup! Had my visualization exactly backwards! This is what I was trying to describe. Thanks for finding it!
No worries, I had a feeling that was the image you were thinking about 😂