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How does one get a job as a goon or a thug? (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by SovietBeerTruckOperator@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm a fairly big and strong dude. I hate my current job and want to change careers. I think I would be a good goon, like a character Batman beats up before a boss fight in an Arkham game or that Noir detective outsmarts. How does one acquire such a job? I don't see any posting on Indeed.

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[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Go talk to Jimmy the Fish down at the docks. He has a few jobs that need takin' care of.

[–] WoodScientist@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

I tried making cement shoes for someone, but I didn't have any cement and made them out of wood instead. I hope that's OK.

[–] SovietBeerTruckOperator@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I tried walking to the docks but got stopped by a police officer who asked for my ID. Apparently you need a Longshoreman's certification to hang aroudn the the docks now.

[–] FedPosterman5000@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

“The fuck do I need a longshoreman’s certification for? I’m a-LONG the SHORE ain’t I?”