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The deli owner can actually deny service to however they want since it's a private business. They don't have to serve anyone, but it does look fucking bad if/when they discrininate, but technically they can.
Here, that government employee HAS the obligation to follow the law and act regardless of her own beliefs. Maybe she should instead run a deli...
Your example is very good, in fact, it prouves your mother wrong in 2 different ways.
There's a big difference between a deli owner and a deli employee. An owner wouldn't choose to even have pork available to sell if they didn't want to sell it. If is it available to sell, and an employee chooses not to sell it because of their religious beliefs, that's definitely a problem, but (as you said) not discrimination, just bad business and the owner should fire them immediately.
Better example: a Hindu public servant refuses to approve a license for a cattle abbatoir on religious grounds.