I have no intention. I don't know where this will land, what community it will be shuffled to. This is how most of my posts start. I just express myself authentically and ny art is made. A lot of people don't understand my art. That is part of the design of my art. There is a function to man on the cross: it gets the bad Romans to oust themselves, and thus the highest games of society are played.
I'm not diagnosised with any ASD, though doctors have talked to me at length about being on the spectrum, and staff have given me much literature on the subject. The joke is, they're aware I'll have to flee to Canada sometime, because I are the definition of neurodivergent, and thus must be used as bait. Is that what's happening? I had a breakdown in college and lied to my ROTC cadre and ever since, I don't know what reality is. But I have faith in God, whatever phenomena that word is describing, and thus I know God is good.
Something I learned early in my strange neurospicy life is that what I understood as my "reality" was really a composition of a particular "reality tunnel," which was part of me learning bigger picture things that led to me learning that a key part of autism has to to with the nature of our attention coordination. This was early reading in my MKULTRA hullabaloo:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ShrugLifeSyndicate/s/I6gLbPEl7Q
But there's this concept that beings can be in alternate states of consciousness that are dependent on individuality and group processing, like a flock of birds or a school of fish are processing reality differently than we are as humans, similarly individual humans are processing reality in a different way than the masses, and this is PART of what autism is.
...I saw where this post MUST go about three paragraphs ago, and I just carried it there as "God" carried me here, and in that, one must understand that "the community" has alternate modes of communication that one on one individual communication can happen. And by this, I mean, if you have an addiction, "the community" will learn of it, and then "the community" has alternate ways of saying things to parts of itself that most people are not even fully conscious of, but I have this post that may illuminate the nature of this phenomenon. I think this is all I need to say to spark the wires in the heads that need to be lit up.
It means I'm slightly miffed in how I have to be slated as the devil because I'm only slightly weird and I make comments on the internet cuz God protects me from Lilith by the nature of ability so only Eve can reach me. Weird, I am. Heh. Oh, sorry. I coughed. More God says. No I say. And higher way is paved.
First of all, I mean no disrespect when I say this. You have a very particular style of writing that is commonly seen in people with schizophrenia.
It's always interesting to read this kind of thing for me, and it really reminds me a lot of when I took LSD when I was younger
Maybe there is a crossover to autism, because I am autistic, but I think fundamentally your neurodivergence may be a little more exciting than that.
I am sorry, I forgot to link:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QoeKMD5dwnWBB6gHOFgY4uKJOXKg8CPGDu-dE5UsisQ/edit?usp=drivesdk
That's okay. I prefer to get your distillation of whatever these resources are. its too much research for me to take on.
You've replied three times and I am in a weird state where I find significance to every minute detail, as my traumas have made me, but I read your words and don't know how to continue because my brain is gud and bed. Double-edged sword, but I like your energy, so I offer courteous energy in exchange. Is this stimulus response? Am I that which I criticize? Well, I'm at least aware enough to understand that I see everything through the lens of my self. Refracting impacting retracting none the fun of the gun is in bang if inflection into you, the intrusion be infection you see or growth you C. But that's just what light is, and that's all I have without giving forty paragraphs that may be interpreted as nonsense. Aman once replied to me with 20k word replies that actually fucked up the Reddit font feature so they would be next to intelligible, how the symbols got distorted. I don't know what normal is, so I dunno what is right to say. I say as I am and sense and feel. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice beetlejuice!
...well that's where my mind is.
I wouldn't say there is much of a deeper meaning to anything that I'm saying.
I'm just being clear that I'm satisfied with your thought without you needing to qualify it with the referring texts. Totally just in a a friendly way.
Thank you. Every word read or typed has a "depth" to it, and I see bigger picture patterns. I don't know anything, butI know something bigger is going on around me. I lied to the United States Military while being aided by God that I took an oath to serve, and up has been down and dark has been light and fire has been water, so I just want to say your skillful neutrality has an abundance of warmth.
thank you for the kind compliment
I have much. What I link is the largest collection of work I can link in a single link. My X profile had 6k posts/replies, and most were close to the post limit of 6-700 words. I did a lot of growing then. That is what this proves most; my slope. I play an authentic, autobiographical character. I don't care to make myself understood, therein, people understand my madness at a definable rate. I get people stuck in my orbit. It is strange yet makes perfect sense to me. It is peculiar and I am often perturbed, in good and bad ways. I try to love everybody. A lotta people have no clue what that is. You must teach across layers to reach. Kumquat reminds me of Ro; star trek character. Pain in the ass to Riker. Gave her jacket when it mattered most. Perspective. That's something I have, to a degree. I don't just speak to you. 100% guarantee there's some piece of shit following everything I type. It haunts me, as i know what I can say. This is learned from my father. What did Data learn from his father? Tyler Durden asked is our fathers were our models for God, whst does that tell us about God. Nothing if there isn't a female voice. This I know. This I learned in myself. What is X? What is nX? Core of what I teach; Y?
Well what can I say? Subjective reality is very much defined by the complex interrelationship of abilities or limitations of the 'equipment' you've been given to do the work of interpreting it.
There really is nothing for me to say that would be invalidating your experience or understanding of the world, and I say this because I think I have at one point in time of my life been able to tap into it and see it in a similar way. It is an experience that meant a lot to me and that I miss dearly, but I also would not likely ever risk making a journey back to that state of mind as the process of doing so has become too dangerous for me.
You seem as though you are well, and that is what matters, and I am glad you shared.