Trying to put down in words what it feels like taking Vyvanse for the first time as an adult diagnosed after 30.
After years of trying other treatments, therapy, non-stimulant medications, I’ve got my first prescription for a stimulant and today is my first time taking it. I was always wondering what would it feel like so I think I’d try to describe it:
After the initial physical sensation subsided (stiff feeling in the neck, jaw, a feeling like tension on the skin of the back of the head) and I’ve started my work day I’ve realized that I’m pretty much feeling calm. Like there was a race in the back of my head where each task was fighting for a priority and I was trying to accommodate the first one that came to mind, but now while the race is still there I can just methodically pick one out and focus on it for a bit, or switch to another while still remembering the first one. It feels almost mechanical in how calm the process is (maybe a bit too mechanical actually), and I feel less governed by emotion.
I’m still getting distracted, but it seems like distractions last much less and I don’t feel panic and urgency after returning to the task at hand.
Now I wonder what it feels like once the effect is over, and if I will be able to sleep tonight normally.
One other effect is that there is almost no hunger, so I had to remind myself to eat something. In that regard it feels similar to hyperfocus when I’m absorbed in a task and forget to eat anything. I don’t know if it’s actually bad since I do have enough weight that needs losing, but I also don’t want an eating disorder. Feels like I need to start planning my meals.
Ah, good to know. I have found that the state I was used to calling tired was actually really exhausted, absolutely out of energy. Using Ritalin made the cost of things much lower so I felt like I could go for hours after my dose ran out. It was actually that I had gotten used to being absolutely ruined by the day and expected to feel like crap that drove my response, and now I go to bed with the capacity for a fair bit more than I used to.
I go to bed less fatigued and tired and sleep more than I did before Ritalin, but I do sometimes have trouble sleeping. I have found that heavy work, like a weight lifting routine or playing with kids, helps a lot with getting the physical agitation under control. I need to be active to be OK and when I am not able to be active I end up with depressive symptoms and sleep disturbance.
I would recommend trying a calisthenics or weights routine at some point, maybe a few months down the line, to see if it helps after your initial adjustment. It also helps with getting mood regulation working a bit better and can make sitting still much easier. I have worked various jobs and lifting heavy things helped a lot with the physical symptoms, though the boredom set in and made the job intolerable fairly quickly. I now work in personal disability care and the varied needs of my clients helps to make the job sustainable over a longer time.