Day by day I begin to wonder more and more if I can even call myself a communist anymore. Its becoming hard to really reconcile my faith with communism if the ideology itself is theorically opposed to it. Bukharin's book, "ABCs of Communism," has an entire section on Chapter 11 that directly talks about why religion and communism are incompatible. Communists believe history is driven by class struggle and material conditions. Religious people believe in stuff like divine intervention or divine will. A communist would probably look at islam (my faith) and be like "No prophet was sent a message by God and acted upon it, it was their material conditions that made them act." I don't see how one could believe both, it feels like its either or.
Sure, it is perfectly possible for religious people to largely agree with Marxists on such things as historical materialism and present-day class struggles, not to mention struggles for national liberation, against racism, etc. It is possible be anti-capitalist and fight for a classless, moneyless, and stateless society where MOP is colletively owned but at the end of the day, there is philosophical tension.
I feel at best, I can be an ally, but the way I see it, I will never be one of them. I do not belong. My voice does not count equally and my beliefs make me suspect. I have faced hostility from leftists that are atheist and hostile towards religion and been called a revisionist. If this is how me and others are gonna be treated just because of our faith, I'd rather die than simply be used as cannon fodder in a revolution.
Thank you, you give me some hope and relief. I once though brought up your point about scientists and other professionals still believing in religion to an atheist and they responded with "There is a cognitive dissonance. Relativity of simultaneity automatically rules out most religious metaphysical interpretations."
Again, because these performative atheists are acting like scientists who are religious are constantly battling with interpretations like "the rocket moved because God pushed it with his hand".
And listen, if you're belief system is that God personally intervenes in everything and nothing can be understood except by interpreting everything as God personally does each thing, then yeah you're going to have a hard time in communism, but also in capitalism, and in any science, and honestly anything you ever do. Why did he break up with me after I betrayed his trust, is it because God made him do it?
Try not make everything about whether people accept your beliefs. Believe what you believe. Keep your beliefs within your community of belief. Share with people outside that community after you trust them. For people who just voluntarily say things like "religion should be eradicated" go ahead and push back, but for the most part, treat your religious life as mostly separate from the practical workings of society while simultaneously integrating it into everything you do. It's a difficult process but it's not cognitive dissonance. It's the real life experience of humanity to exist in multiple interpretative layers of reality simultaneously.