Day by day I begin to wonder more and more if I can even call myself a communist anymore. Its becoming hard to really reconcile my faith with communism if the ideology itself is theorically opposed to it. Bukharin's book, "ABCs of Communism," has an entire section on Chapter 11 that directly talks about why religion and communism are incompatible. Communists believe history is driven by class struggle and material conditions. Religious people believe in stuff like divine intervention or divine will. A communist would probably look at islam (my faith) and be like "No prophet was sent a message by God and acted upon it, it was their material conditions that made them act." I don't see how one could believe both, it feels like its either or.
Sure, it is perfectly possible for religious people to largely agree with Marxists on such things as historical materialism and present-day class struggles, not to mention struggles for national liberation, against racism, etc. It is possible be anti-capitalist and fight for a classless, moneyless, and stateless society where MOP is colletively owned but at the end of the day, there is philosophical tension.
I feel at best, I can be an ally, but the way I see it, I will never be one of them. I do not belong. My voice does not count equally and my beliefs make me suspect. I have faced hostility from leftists that are atheist and hostile towards religion and been called a revisionist. If this is how me and others are gonna be treated just because of our faith, I'd rather die than simply be used as cannon fodder in a revolution.
The anti-religion militant-atheist vein of Marxists are conflating faith and religious institutions. Its bad analysis because the only religion they had experience with was a "state religion." The Russian Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church were state institutions. Priests were essentially cops. They were eventually replaced by social workers and psychologists in secular society.
Most religious institutions are reactionary and exist to uphold classism more than to uphold the spiritual teachings they espouse. Its very similar to how factories under capitalism are built to make money for their owners not to produce goods, but that does not mean the factory must be destroyed and no factory should survive the revolution.
The bourgeois perverted religions institutions must be seized by the faithful.