Autism

So, sad stuff, my mom died when I was 23, and my dad just passed this week, as I’m just shy of 40. Early and sucks but is what it is.

The sad isn't the point of this, though. The point of this is that I now have both of their thick gold wedding bands. I probably could have asked for them before, and he probably would have given them to me, but they weren't my memory to have yet.

Now that I have them, however, they have proven to be a peak fidget toy for driving. I hate driving, especially long-distance, and I tend to start nodding off because it’s boring af. Im AutDHD, so yeah the falling asleep bit is normal for me, and so fucking dangerous. If public transit was an option, I’d absolutely use it, but it isn’t a practical option (thanks carbrain US, for making me a danger to the people around me as a matter of course.. really thrilled to be forced into this position..)

My mom’s is just big enough to fit my off-hand index finger, and my dad’s is just small enough to not fit over that, but its way too big for me alone. But if I put it on first and then my mom’s, it stays put and jingles around. The noise it makes when I tap my finger on the wheel is so ridiculously pleasing to me. It keeps me occupied enough to stay awake, so I'm not a giant hazard on the road. Yay! Win!

So, what’s your “turns out I needed this all along” fidget?